Want

I've been writing so much less lately... Finals week - two more days and it will all be over and I can go back to having a life...

[via Bend Me Over]

Yesterday, me and my friend AQ were "studying" together - read: procrastinating on our laptops and chatting - and she was telling me about some of the frustrations she was having with her boyfriend.

"I just want to be worshipped," she admitted sheepishly.

She also asked me what my ideal relationship/person would be. I had been discussing something similar with Christopher - we were trying to decide what kind of person I'm typically attracted to. After considering the people I'd been with, we came up with - powerful/in a position of power, charismatic, nerdy, shy, cocky, and capable of bantering. (...)

Really, that doesn't say very much. And as F says, humans prefer to see patterns where patterns might not really exist.

So what do I want?

I want...

I want someone who I can be good friends with.

I want an open relationship.

I want to be in a triad.

I want to be intensely wanted, and shown just how much I'm wanted.

I want to be loved.

I want someone who will clean for me as I stand nonchalantly in the doorway and curtly tell them that they're doing it wrong (when that may or may not be true).

I want someone who I know would be alright with me calling them at 4am if I'm upset. (Even though I might never actually do that, knowing that it would be OK is enough...)

I want space.

I want someone I could spend entire days (and nights) with.

I want someone who will throw me down and fuck me breathless.

I want someone who will tie my hands behind my back, blindfold me, turn me on with their words and then proceed to do what they described.

I want someone who will let me shove them up against a wall and bite, scratch and otherwise mark them.

I want a man who will worship my cock with his mouth and then turn around and let me do him from behind.

I want to exchange teasing, snark and sass that will shift inevitably into flirting and back again.

I want comfortable silence.

I want stimulating conversation.

I want someone with a sexy mind/intellect.

I want to giggle as they perv on other people and not feel any need to be jealous.

I want us to both have other lovers and to be able to talk about it in great detail.

I want androgyny.

I want someone who is strong and impetuous... but gives up control in the bedroom.

I want to be paid attention to.

I want...

Fuck. I don't know what I want, do I?

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