I’ve been writing so much less lately… Finals week – two more days and it will all be over and I can go back to having a life…
[via Bend Me Over]
Yesterday, me and my friend AQ were “studying” together – read: procrastinating on our laptops and chatting – and she was telling me about some of the frustrations she was having with her boyfriend.
“I just want to be worshipped,” she admitted sheepishly.
She also asked me what my ideal relationship/person would be. I had been discussing something similar with Christopher – we were trying to decide what kind of person I’m typically attracted to. After considering the people I’d been with, we came up with – powerful/in a position of power, charismatic, nerdy, shy, cocky, and capable of bantering. (…)
Really, that doesn’t say very much. And as F says, humans prefer to see patterns where patterns might not really exist.
So what do I want?
I want…
I want someone who I can be good friends with.
I want an open relationship.
I want to be in a triad.
I want to be intensely wanted, and shown just how much I’m wanted.
I want to be loved.
I want someone who will clean for me as I stand nonchalantly in the doorway and curtly tell them that they’re doing it wrong (when that may or may not be true).
I want someone who I know would be alright with me calling them at 4am if I’m upset. (Even though I might never actually do that, knowing that it would be OK is enough…)
I want space.
I want someone I could spend entire days (and nights) with.
I want someone who will throw me down and fuck me breathless.
I want someone who will tie my hands behind my back, blindfold me, turn me on with their words and then proceed to do what they described.
I want someone who will let me shove them up against a wall and bite, scratch and otherwise mark them.
I want a man who will worship my cock with his mouth and then turn around and let me do him from behind.
I want to exchange teasing, snark and sass that will shift inevitably into flirting and back again.
I want comfortable silence.
I want stimulating conversation.
I want someone with a sexy mind/intellect.
I want to giggle as they perv on other people and not feel any need to be jealous.
I want us to both have other lovers and to be able to talk about it in great detail.
I want androgyny.
I want someone who is strong and impetuous… but gives up control in the bedroom.
I want to be paid attention to.
I want…
Fuck. I don’t know what I want, do I?
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12 Responses to Want
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FeedburnerWilhelmina Wang. A queer, kinky, feminist, sex-positive, eurasian, writerly, twentysomething girl with her mind lodged firmly in the gutter.
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You want . . . a collection of open-minded lovers who will leave you alone when you want to be alone (fucking each other then, presumably) and will thrill you with all sorts of sex when you want to be thrilled (or let you thrill them).
That may be the easy part. Someone who will let you bitch at them while they are cleaning your house . . . well, that’s going to be a challenge.
P.S.–good luck with finals.
You, young lady, do not have a cock.
Good lord I’m in love with you!
Fabulous post
It sounds to me like you know exactly what you want. You just want a lot. Nothing wrong with that.
And so many of the things you listed resonated with me, inspiring me to delurk.
You sound very sweet. although perhaps anyone would sound sweet putting their desires over so simply.
There’s no need for one’s desires to be coherent or consistent (and I imagine trying to make them so would only be harmful), as long as you can balance them at any given moment. There’s no need even to know what one wants, in the abstract (I think that’s true anyway), as long as you can enjoy what the world brings you.
Hahaha, oh my. I tried to mentally make my list the other week… and the only hard and fast things I had amounted to maybe 4 items. It’s ridiculous how being open minded and independent and just who you are makes it so difficult to do what everyone says you must do to find happiness: know what you want. I say screw it, if you have deal breaker items sure, know those, but for the rest of it… well you seem like me in that you’re too open minded about people not to want to give them a chance. So if you have too many ideas/rules (like I used to) you’ll just find yourself bending and breaking them anyway.
You do seem to know what you want: love, acceptance, sex, happiness. And it doesn’t seem like too much to ask.
hehe. I think at this point maybe I just want multiple people who are all very different
thanks!
also… re: cleaning the house, i know a couple of people (online, obvi) who get off on that sort of thing o.o cleaning and being bitched at, i mean
Actually the Actor just bought me one (!) It should come in the mail anytime now
Thanks
I’m beginning to think that, too…
I’m glad, I always like receiving comments, and to know that there are people out there who feel the same things as I do
I hope so…
I think generally, I know what I want yes… when it gets down to the details then things get complicated