Comments on: Wait, what am I coming out as?

By: Wilhelmina

Wilhelmina — Fri, 22 May 2009 03:57:29 +0000

It’s a shame you’re in a place where you feel as though you have to hide sometimes…

And yes people’s assumptions and preconceptions also really influence how obvious it is to them.

I used to be like that too, just coming out if I was asked, and I still don’t want to just announce it to people randomly, which seems pointless. I *do* do things that draw attention to my queerness though; participate in queer-related things/events etc.

By: Wilhelmina

Wilhelmina — Fri, 22 May 2009 03:55:34 +0000

I was thinking about the flag more as a pride thing. I do want to be able to express pride more or just to “broadcast” my sexuality more, and S wishes to do the same, except it’s more difficult for her because she isn’t even sure what it is she’s broadcasting.

By: Andrei

Andrei — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 16:09:40 +0000

I think a “default” of any sort should be done away with, and even appearances are no longer reliable. I used to think I was one of those people “you can tell just by looking at” until I was told I was hard to figure out, and recently assumed to be straight (but this could be due to studying in the Caribbean). Personally, I usually do not “come out” unless specifically asked (in terms of orientation) and am even more reluctant to tell people I am trans (although I have never been asked) due to my current location and its negative attitude towards butches and ftms.

By: perfectlips

perfectlips — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 11:31:53 +0000

I agree with your last paragraph.

“Coming out of the closet” was originally all about overcoming shame, and secondly about solidarity with others facing sexual oppression. Neither of these are especially relevant any more — at least not in the West. Certainly not in the UK anyway.

It’s interesting that you illustrate your post with a flag. Are you vicariously nostalgic for the days of politicised sexuality? Politicised sexuality is bogus. Identity politics is pretty bogus too.

The content of your post seems more concerned with tactical issues: the relationship with your father, conversational interaction. Negotiations are always trickier between friends.