Comments on: Sharing is Caring; & Working Our Way Up

By: Wilhelmina Wang

Wilhelmina Wang — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 05:32:39 +0000

thanks for the comment ~

yeah it does… things like these do take a while to develop. i’ve sort of found out that J doesn’t really have many kinks or interests himself, but is really open-minded. i’m not sure how i feel about that, though, because it’s nice if the other person is as turned on by an act as you are.

By: Saraid

Saraid — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 14:34:55 +0000

I’m actually in partially the same situation as you, but not with the polyamory since I’m not sure if I’m wired for that yet and don’t want to jump into anything. Also, my partner is definitely not wired for a poly relationship, so it’s basically out of the question for us.

However, I have been trying to get him interested in SM since I strongly identify as a bottom (currently, but I am evolving and thinking I could be a switch) and he has no experience in these things. He’s willing to work with me and I appreciate that, but it’s going to take a long long time and sometimes I feel he’s acting more than actually being into it, if that makes sense.

In other less complicated words, I get where you’re coming from.
Saraid´s last blog ..Pleasurists #55

By: Wilhelmina Wang

Wilhelmina Wang — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:30:22 +0000

thanks, britni. i’ll keep those things in mind. i think so far we’re doing a pretty good job of communicating things to each other. he already knows i’m kinky and that i’m not someone who is “100% monogamous” or for whom monogamy is the only option that’s out there. i do feel very comfortable and able to be open with him, so hopefully i will be able to talk about all these things with him when they start becoming too pressuring, or even before that.

By: Britni TheVadgeWig

Britni TheVadgeWig — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:22:52 +0000

You shouldn’t feel selfish or wrong for having these concerns. And if it’s already something on your mind this early in the relationship, it’s not going to get any better down the road. In fact, it’s likely to become more of an issue (or become one if it isn’t yet). Sex is an important part of a relationship, and these things are large parts of your sexuality and sexual identity. Having those urges and parts of you repressed will eventually take a toll on you.

I’d say that slowly talking about these things with him is the way to go. And maybe, down the road, you can find some sort of compromise that works for both of you. Because while it may not bother you now, while the sex and relationship is still so new and exciting, it most likely will later on when things settle down and the freshness wears off.

Communication is going to be key. Hiding these feelings will just be detrimental in the long run, because it can breed resentment, and he’s not a mind reader, so will have no idea that you’re feeling that way.
Britni TheVadgeWig´s last blog ..Product Review: Liberator Fascinator Throe