At a Crossroads

[via the Pin Up Files]

I haven't been blogging for a while. I've been suffering a writer's block of sorts which has been trigged by many things: coming out to some of my friends as a sex blogger, finding and getting together with J, and wanting to broaden the scope of my writing. For the last month or so I've been trying to figure out where my blogging is going and what I want to get out of it, and I think I finally have the answer.

I first started this blog because I wanted to write about sex, but it turned into much more than that. When this blog first began, I had a lot of upheaval and confusion in my life. I had begun to explore my budding sexuality in a serious way, and was figuring out what sex meant to me. A number of my lovers had left my college, or were in the process of leaving, and I was dealing with my emotions surrounding that. In many ways, Heartbreak Nymphomania was the frustrated ventings of a lonely heart, who was searching for intimacy and a relationship but was unable to find it.

But a lot of that has changed. After I became comfortable with my single life and, after that, got into a stable and happy relationship with J, I had a lot less need to work through my relationship issues & feelings here, which was initially what this blog was all about.

Now, I want to write about more topics, and in a more intellectual, involved way. Many of which I already address to some extent here, but with some other additions: gender, sexuality, queer issues, body image, BDSM, feminism, race, pop culture, art & literature, college & education, fashion and media. I also want to be "out" as a writer, blogger, and someone with a strong interest in issues surrounding sexuality. Not like I am here, with only a handful of friends knowing about me.

I am at a crossroads. At first I was loath to pull away from my Wilhelmina Wang identity - god knows I've grown into it very much since I first started writing and interacting with people online as Wilhelmina, and doing so has been very good for me and has made me very happy. I've also established myself quite nicely under this name - more than I ever expected to, really. But I'm ready to move on, and instead of fearing the change (because change is always scary for me, even positive change) and trying to avoid it, I'm going to embrace it.

I'm not going to leave this blog behind - it still serves as a safe place for me to talk about my personal & love life when I need to work through things, and I've always sort of envisioned using my Wilhelmina Wang name to write & maybe even publish works of erotica. However, if I'm going to make this blog a smaller part of my life and devote my time to writing about other things, I'm not going to write here as much.

I plan to start a new blog, where I'll devote a lot more time and aim to produce high-quality content. The style of my posts will probably be more article or essay-like, citing from other blog posts, articles and maybe books. I will also be writing under my real name (!), so the eyes of my school, potential employers, acquaintances, and whoever else cares, will be on me. In spite of that, I hope to continue to be as unerringly honest with my opinions and observations as I am here.

I don't plan to merge my two identities. I really can't afford to, and the style of the content will be so different that it really doesn't make sense to.

The good news is that I want to take you, my readers, along for the ride. I can't make a public announcement about my new blog, because I don't want everyone knowing the connection between the two, but if you email me, DM me, leave a comment, or otherwise contact me, expressing your interest, I'll send you an email with the new blog URL once I get it up and running.

I am unspeakably excited about this

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