Comments on: My Hero, Save me! http://heartbreaknympho.com/2010/02/07/my-hero-save-me/ fuck the pain away Wed, 28 Jul 2010 02:41:41 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Wilhelmina Wang http://heartbreaknympho.com/2010/02/07/my-hero-save-me/comment-page-1/#comment-1917 Wilhelmina Wang Wed, 10 Feb 2010 00:58:54 +0000 http://heartbreaknympho.com/?p=3129#comment-1917 thanks for the comment :) it's not so much that i think there's something inherently wrong about wanting to be taken care of. i think relationship dynamics depend on the people involved and what they want/need. the problem here was that part of the reason i was acting the way i was, was based on the assumption that "men take care of women, they don't need to be taken care of back" and, conversely "women need to be taken care of more than men do, so i should take care of my gf - if i had one." the problem was that my behavior was due to an assumption i made based off of gender, not something i chose to do because i necessarily needed to or because it was necessarily the best for J and me thanks for the comment :) it’s not so much that i think there’s something inherently wrong about wanting to be taken care of. i think relationship dynamics depend on the people involved and what they want/need. the problem here was that part of the reason i was acting the way i was, was based on the assumption that “men take care of women, they don’t need to be taken care of back” and, conversely “women need to be taken care of more than men do, so i should take care of my gf – if i had one.” the problem was that my behavior was due to an assumption i made based off of gender, not something i chose to do because i necessarily needed to or because it was necessarily the best for J and me

]]> By: Amy http://heartbreaknympho.com/2010/02/07/my-hero-save-me/comment-page-1/#comment-1916 Amy Wed, 10 Feb 2010 00:02:06 +0000 http://heartbreaknympho.com/?p=3129#comment-1916 I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with wanting a man to take care of you. I would never let a guy tell me what to do in real life, but relationships can be a little suspended away from real life - it's a little bubble that the two of you occupy together with a dynamic that is different to everything else. Whilst obviously both partners should put in equal effort to the relationship that can take different forms and I definitely like my men to look after me. Not because I can't look after myself, because I can, but it shows that they care and it's nice to have someone worry about you. Why do you think Prince Charming is called Prince Charming? I try to be as feminist and progressive as possible but everything about me screams heteronormative. I find it really interesting that you don't think you'd do that with a girl though. It's not an experience I have (or am likely to have, being of the mainly heterosexual, bi-curious persuasion) but being taken care of is not necessarily something you feel you *need* from a relationship, if you wouldn't expect it from a girl so I think that does add to the focus on society's perscribed gender roles working in your relationship. It's definitely a positive that you're moving forward though so that you're acting more equally - but don't feel bad about being spoilt every now and again! Good post :) .-= Amy´s last blog ..<a href="http://moresexchocolateandredlipstick.wordpress.com/2010/02/08/the-library-hotel/" rel="nofollow">The Library Hotel</a> =-. I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with wanting a man to take care of you. I would never let a guy tell me what to do in real life, but relationships can be a little suspended away from real life – it’s a little bubble that the two of you occupy together with a dynamic that is different to everything else. Whilst obviously both partners should put in equal effort to the relationship that can take different forms and I definitely like my men to look after me. Not because I can’t look after myself, because I can, but it shows that they care and it’s nice to have someone worry about you. Why do you think Prince Charming is called Prince Charming? I try to be as feminist and progressive as possible but everything about me screams heteronormative.

I find it really interesting that you don’t think you’d do that with a girl though. It’s not an experience I have (or am likely to have, being of the mainly heterosexual, bi-curious persuasion) but being taken care of is not necessarily something you feel you *need* from a relationship, if you wouldn’t expect it from a girl so I think that does add to the focus on society’s perscribed gender roles working in your relationship. It’s definitely a positive that you’re moving forward though so that you’re acting more equally – but don’t feel bad about being spoilt every now and again!

Good post :)
Amy´s last blog ..The Library Hotel My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Mina http://heartbreaknympho.com/2010/02/07/my-hero-save-me/comment-page-1/#comment-1914 Mina Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:10:24 +0000 http://heartbreaknympho.com/?p=3129#comment-1914 It's very easy to get wrapped up in the security (and giddiness) of being taken care of. I have been there. I have been selfish before in my own relationships. Things as simple as getting up to get something to drink and not even offering to my partner. I had a partner point this out to me. Since then, I make a conscious effort to go out of my way from time to time. It doesn't always come naturally, but at least now I think about it. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in the security (and giddiness) of being taken care of. I have been there. I have been selfish before in my own relationships. Things as simple as getting up to get something to drink and not even offering to my partner. I had a partner point this out to me. Since then, I make a conscious effort to go out of my way from time to time. It doesn’t always come naturally, but at least now I think about it.

]]> By: Wilhelmina Wang http://heartbreaknympho.com/2010/02/07/my-hero-save-me/comment-page-1/#comment-1910 Wilhelmina Wang Sun, 07 Feb 2010 19:13:23 +0000 http://heartbreaknympho.com/?p=3129#comment-1910 yeah, i think my being kinky and J being not has something to do with it as well. at the beginning i was in a very kink-heavy mindset and really wanted to submit to him, but while he's fine with dappling in bed now and again, he's not really okay with the more D/s stuff. yeah, i think my being kinky and J being not has something to do with it as well. at the beginning i was in a very kink-heavy mindset and really wanted to submit to him, but while he’s fine with dappling in bed now and again, he’s not really okay with the more D/s stuff.

]]> By: Oliver http://heartbreaknympho.com/2010/02/07/my-hero-save-me/comment-page-1/#comment-1909 Oliver Sun, 07 Feb 2010 16:29:47 +0000 http://heartbreaknympho.com/?p=3129#comment-1909 It's interesting how easily we can slip into our socially prescribed gender roles if we're not constantly vigilant. Regarding men as protectors, I think that's a role that we (men), even feminist men, take on and even subconsciously encourage in our partners if we're not careful. It makes us feel good, powerful, etc., even if in the end it's not good for our relationship. It’s interesting how easily we can slip into our socially prescribed gender roles if we’re not constantly vigilant. Regarding men as protectors, I think that’s a role that we (men), even feminist men, take on and even subconsciously encourage in our partners if we’re not careful. It makes us feel good, powerful, etc., even if in the end it’s not good for our relationship.

]]> By: Suze http://heartbreaknympho.com/2010/02/07/my-hero-save-me/comment-page-1/#comment-1908 Suze Sun, 07 Feb 2010 12:09:12 +0000 http://heartbreaknympho.com/?p=3129#comment-1908 I think we all like to feel that we have a strong partner who looks after us and to a degree guides us. It's as you mentioned, all about balance and ensuring that you both add to the relationship. Being a switch I can see both sides and I consider myself a strong and independent woman but I still like to be guided, if that makes sense. I think we all like to feel that we have a strong partner who looks after us and to a degree guides us. It’s as you mentioned, all about balance and ensuring that you both add to the relationship.
Being a switch I can see both sides and I consider myself a strong and independent woman but I still like to be guided, if that makes sense.

]]> By: Britni TheVadgeWig http://heartbreaknympho.com/2010/02/07/my-hero-save-me/comment-page-1/#comment-1907 Britni TheVadgeWig Sun, 07 Feb 2010 12:02:22 +0000 http://heartbreaknympho.com/?p=3129#comment-1907 Being submissive means that I often do the same thing. It becomes a problem when I'm with a non-Dominant partner, or in a vanilla relationship, because we're supposed to be equal partners, yet I act like we're not. .-= Britni TheVadgeWig´s last blog ..<a href="http://britisstillshameless.blogspot.com/2010/02/product-review-gigi.html" rel="nofollow">Product Review: Gigi</a> =-. Being submissive means that I often do the same thing. It becomes a problem when I’m with a non-Dominant partner, or in a vanilla relationship, because we’re supposed to be equal partners, yet I act like we’re not.
Britni TheVadgeWig´s last blog ..Product Review: Gigi My ComLuv Profile

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