Review: Crash Pad Series Vol. 5

I've heard nothing but good things about the Crash Pad Series. I'd also been hankering after some queer porn. Tristan Taormino is great and all, but I was ready for something a little less hetero-centric. And Crash Pad Series Vol. 5: The Revolving Door, is definitely not hetero-centric. Like, at all.

Vol.5 is posed of five twenty-minute-long "episodes". My overall impression was a positive one. The actors' genders were very diverse: femmes, bois, transmen, cismen, genderqueers. (I tried my best to refer to everyone with the pronoun that seems the most correct, but please correct me if I'm wrong.) All of these scenes were quite kinky, also, including flogging, cuffs, sensation play, etc. Most of the porn I own is pretty vanilla and I really liked getting to see kink in action.

The scenes are filmed very differently from the more mainstream style that I'm used to: no background music whatsoever - sometimes ordinary, daily-life background noises came into the scene; sets that looked very much like an somebody's actual bedroom; and lighting and cinematography that looked more natural, almost like a home movie. I felt very much like I was getting a peek behind the curtains at a queer couple's actual sex life; and I think Kuma & Julie Warren are a couple in real life?

However, while authentic, the filming style did have its downsides. I actually missed having background music because some scenes would hit slow points and the silence just made it worse. The background noises also ranged from distracting (drilling?!) to wonderful (thunder). And there were times when the camera was blurred, or would go out of focus for a few seconds, or would be grainy. I have no idea if that was intentional - for stylistic reasons - or just a technical fuck-up, but in any case it was irritating. I can appreciate a little artsiness, but I do not want an out-of-focus image when the camera is zooming in for a close-up of somebody getting fisted!

Also, for some reason, the scenes all started and ended with shots of a woman watching the scenes on her laptop. The scene would also occasionally switch to this woman blinking, or fiddling with the mousepad, complete with computer-noises. I didn't really get the point of this. Okay, yeah, I'm watching other people get off, I get it? Was it meant to emphasize the voyeurism of the porn-watcher? I have no idea. I didn't like it at all, though. I felt that it interrupted the flow of the scenes and took me out of them.

And now, a scene-by-scene rundown:

August & Stacey Staxxx

This first scene was probably the weakest of the bunch. It was very slow, and at times was almost a chore to watch. The premise was pretty cute: it's August's birthday and Stacey has a surprise for hir. They take turns to tie each other's hands with gift ribbon, and drip wax on each other's chests from colorful birthday-cake candles. The wax play was very hot to watch; I loved hearing Stacey hiss in pain/pleasure as the wax dripped onto her breasts, and then see the angry red marks left behind. Eventually Stacey takes out August's cock and fucks hir while hir hands are tied: also hot to watch, as August strained against hir bonds, trying to get Stacey's breast in hir mouth. The scene ends with August fingerfucking Stacey to orgasm. I found Stacey very cute and teasing; I particularly liked her girly outfit combined with her unshaved her armpits and pussy. I felt like she had no energy, though; she seemed almost sleepy when she was bottoming. I liked August's nervous laughter and how ze seemed very into the scene, but the only exchanges they had were contrived banter centered around the birthday theme. When Stacey finally begs, "Fuck me!" towards the end, I was was so relieved to actually hear some dirty talk.

Kuma & Julie Warren

This scene is better. In fact, it's pretty fucking awesome. Kuma and Julie aren't the typical kinds of people I find attractive, but I loved their attitudes. Kuma has some pretty awesome tattoos, and I loved his dirty talk and commanding air. Some lines I loved? "I can't wait to tear into you," "Let me see those nipples," "I want my cock deep inside you." Julie is very sweet and responsive. This scene is heavy on the kink: Kuma gets Julie out of her dress and flogs her back (he has mad flogging skillz, I think), punches her chest (I don't know quite what to think of chest-hitting just yet), rips off her stockings, lays her down on the bed and canes her inner thighs, offers her water and then spits it over her before actually pouring some into her mouth from a cup, and finally fucks her with his cock, and then his fist. As she was fucked harder, Julie's voice got more and more incoherent and desperate. I loved watching the fisting. I got more and more worked up as more of his fingers disappeared into her... but then the camera angle changed and I couldn't see the actual fisting. The only disappointing part of an otherwise great scene.

Rex & Scarlett Chaos (aka. Essin' Em!)

This is a pretty straightforward scene. I was looking forward to seeing it because Essin' Em (Scarlett) is in it; her blog was one of the first ones I started reading, and which pretty much introduced me to the sexblogging world There's more of a butch/femme dynamic going on here. Scarlett is wearing a pretty awesome black dress & red pumps. Rex cuffs her to the bedframe and then fucks her with his hands & cock. Red is quietly charming, and Scarlett is a sassy bottom. I loved it. She teases Rex, refuses to do some of the things he asks until he makes her, and at one point when she's restrained, demands/asks, "Kiss me. Come kiss me. Now. ...Please?" Towards the end of the scene, she gets untied and then knocks Rex's hands out of the way to give him a blowjob. She also wasn't kidding when she said on her blog that she's known for being "a bit loud." Holy shit, is she loud!

The first three scenes were decent, but it's really the last two scenes that I found very hot and would probably watch over again. The first three scene were made up of pretty clear more-masculine/more-feminine pairings, and I wanted to see more genderfuckery. I also really wanted to see the tops get off. It's not like I think there's a problem with masculine/feminine dichotomies per se, or with people being "stone" (though I have no idea if those actors were stone in general or just for those scenes), but I just get off more on fluidity and blurring boundaries.

Red & Cyd Loverboy

I find these two immensely attractive. Together, their effect was explosive. Cyd comes over to "study", but is in for a surprise: as soon as he comes into the room, a half-naked and strapped-on Red jumps him and they start wrestling on the bed. I loved the initial struggle, how Cyd resists at first but eventually surrenders, and how the wrestling devolves into giggles. Red is rough with Cyd; ze wastes no time in stripping Cyd's clothes off and binding his wrists with his own suspenders. Awesome genderfucking moment? Red finding Cyd's "wiener" (a sock stuffed down his pants), taking it out, and then gagging him with it and saying "Looks like you don't have a wiener anymore!" Red then takes off Cyd's pants, flips him over, smacks his ass and starts fucking his ass with zir fingers after making him ask for it. Hot hot hot. Throughout all this, Red keeps up a smiling, slightly demeaning stream, with Cyd squealing and moaning behind the gag. They switch towards the end, with Cyd fisting Red. This time I could see the fisting. It was awesome.

Shawn (aka. Syd Blakovich) & Mickey Mod

Syd Blakovich (Shawn)! I've been wanting to watch her perform since forever. And Mickey Mod, a cisgendered man? I can see people arguing about whether or not he should be included, but for me, the answer is very much yes. Shawn is fierce, and Mickey fingerfucks and sucks cock like a pro. More awesome genderfucking moments? Mickey fingerfucking Shawn's pussy and sucking her cock; Shawn straddling and fucking Mickey (i.e. penis-in-vag sex) while still strapped on. Shawn sucks Mickey off as well, and the scene ends with Shawn taking off her cock, standing over Mickey and rubbing herself to orgasm while he jacks himself off as well. The only things I didn't like about this scene were the lack of communication (they only exchange words at the beginning and the end of the scene), and the red screen with white writing that randomly appeared 3-4 times. Seriously, what the fuck. I don't know if this is just a problem with my copy, but I do not want random ads flashing while I'm trying to watch a hot scene & get off.

To conclude: I find the whole Crash Pad concept pretty great, and I'm excited to see where they go next. I'd definitely want to watch more of their DVDs. All I ask is they up the quality of their filming. Sweet scenes like these do not deserve to be faulted by crappy filming.

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