[Graphic by Juliettia]

I’ve never really been involved with EdenFantasys, but I thought it might be beneficial for my readers to know what has been going on with them, in case you shop or write there. You might want to reconsider doing so.

If anyone has other [...] No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]>

[Graphic by Juliettia]

I’ve never really been involved with EdenFantasys, but I thought it might be beneficial for my readers to know what has been going on with them, in case you shop or write there. You might want to reconsider doing so.

If anyone has other links you think I should include here, or if some of my information is inaccurate and you wish to correct me, please leave me a comment.

EdenFantasys History of Fail(s)

2008

- Sexblog giant Always Aroused Girl works on blogging & PR projects for EF, but is refused payment for her work, and so sues her employer and dukes it out in court, with little success.

- Another sexblog giant, Essin’ Em, works on developing a reviewer program and bringing in new products to the site. Her employer gives her a hard time when she leaves an IM conversation with him to take care of a friend who was just beaten up by her husband, then berates her for not mentioning EF in an interview she gave which had nothing to do with the company, and doesn’t pay her her affiliate commissions in a timely manner.

- EF agrees to sponsor the 2009 NYC Sexblog Calender, then backs out at the last minute.

- The Google Spreadsheet that contains reviewers’ confidential information (full name, physical address, along with their blog name and URL) is made public due to an ex-employee’s fuck up. EF claims that using Google Spreadsheets is not how they typically run their business, which Essin’ Em points out to be a blatant lie.

2010

- That Toy Chick blogs about how she was also forced to legally fight for pay that was her right.

- Epiphora, one of the most prolific sextoy bloggers out there, is banned from EF’s forums for no apparent reason. EF says that she was banned for “drama, rudeness and overall negativity”, but it appears that she was banned merely for stating her honest opinion. She was banned without being contacted about it first, without any of her posts being flagged, and EF goes on to publicly humiliate her in their forums under the guise of “being transparent.” One contributor decides to leave EF for good over this issue, and a whole bunch of posts are written in Epiphora’s support:

~ Essin’ Em: EdenFantasys, Not a Place I Trust

~ AAG: Problems with EdenFantasys, Take Nine Thousand

~ Garnet: A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

~ Sarah Sloane, who used to be on the editorial staff of EF’s SexIs magazine: Money, ethics and real sex-positivity

~ Britni: Bad Move, EdenFantasys

~ Carnivalesq: EdenFallacys

~ The Blogging Slave: EdenFantasys.com Debacle

~ Toys in Love: When Push comes to Shove…

~ Woman’s Tribune: Eden Fantasys, A Sex Shop No One Can Trust

~ Erosblog: Edenfantasys.com Shoots Itself in the Balls… Again

- Maymay, who runs Maybe Maimed, Kink on Tap and Male Submission Art, and who also happens to be a professional computer programmer, discovers that EF’s linking practices are unethical. (This post has been cross-posted here, here, here, here and here, and Maymay is encouraging people to re-post the entire entry, or excerpts of it, in case he gets a Cease and Desist notice.) Basically, EF pretends to link back to its reviewers, contributors, people who they’ve done link-exchanges with, even companies whose products they sell… but they actually don’t. The links don’t work. This prevents others from getting traffic from all of EF’s sites, and ensures that EF will appear higher in Google search results. Google specifically points out that behavior like this is unethical. In his post, Maymay also outlines actions you can take in response to this. You can report EF to Google here.

Internet sex toy retailer Web Merchants, Inc., which bills itself as the “sex shop you can trust” and does business under the name EdenFantasys, has implemented technology on their websites that actively interferes with contributors’ content, intercepts outgoing links, and alters republished content so that links in the original work are redirected to themselves. Using techniques widely acknowledged as unethical by Internet professionals and that are arguably in violation of major search engines’ policies, EdenFantasys’s publishing platform has effectively outsourced the task of “link farming” (a questionable Search Engine Marketing [SEM] technique) to sites with which they have “an ongoing relationship,” such as AlterNet.org, other large news hubs, and individual bloggers’ blogs.

Articles published on EdenFantasys websites, such as the “community” website SexIs Magazine, contain HTML crafted to look like links, but aren’t. When visited by a typical human user, a program written in JavaScript and included as part of the web pages is automatically downloaded and intercepts clicks on these “link-like” elements, fetching their intended destination from the server and redirecting users there. Due to the careful and deliberate implementation, the browser’s status bar is made to appear as though the link is legitimate, and that a destination is provided as expected.

For non-human visitors, including automated search engine indexing programs such as Googlebot, the “link” remains non-functional, making the article a search engine’s dead-end or “orphan” page whose only functional links are those whose destination is EdenFantasys’s own web presence. This makes EdenFantasys’ website(s) a self-referential black hole that provides no reciprocity for contributors who author content, nor for any website ostensibly “linked” to from article content. At the same time, EdenFantasys editors actively solicit inbound links from individuals and organizations through “link exchanges” and incentive programs such as “awards” and “free” sex toys, as well as syndicating SexIs Magazine content such that the content is programmatically altered in order to create multiple (real) inbound links to EdenFantasys’s websites after republication on their partner’s media channels.

A similar slew of posts crop up in response:

~ Garnet: Business Ethics

~ She Posts: EdenFantasys Accused of Hoarding Links

~ Rayne: We’re Just Waiting, Hoping… Giving the Benefit of the Doubt

~ Sarah Sloane: Beyond Disgusted… Partly with Myself

~ Tom Allen: Beast of Eden

~ Figleaf: Web Merchants, Inc and EdenFantasys Unfortunate, Unethical, Link-Hiding Policies

~ Menstrual Poetry: EdenFantasys: Crumbling Community

- Britni posts to EF’s forums, linking to Maymay’s entry. The post is removed in less than a day. So much for EF being transparent! Luckily, both Britni and AAG took screencaps of the forum thread.

- EF posts a response to Maymay’s entry, which basically reads: bullshit, bullshit, placating-PR-speak, more bullshit. They claim that they’re using linking practices that many other big websites use, in order to prevent viral links. Hmm.

- Maymay explains why, exactly, their explanation is bullshit. (Cross-posted here.) (More information can be found here.)

- When EF forum members start questioning EF’s practices, voicing their concern, or, in some instances, doing nothing at all, EF responds by locking their accounts and deleting threads and posts, even though they claim to support freedom of speech and claim to not censor their membership. Again, with no warning or contacting of the members who posted the comments in question.

~ Juliettia: EdenFallacys

~ Britni: EF Continues to Dig its Own Grave

~ Woman Tribune: EdenFantasys: A Sex Shop No One Can Trust

~ DarlingDove: What I Tried to Say On EF

~ Forum Discussion Screenshot via Mistress Kay uploaded by AAG

~ Forum Discussion Screenshot via Of Sex and Law uploaded by AAG

- EF explains that they are disabling these accounts and posts as a “cooling off period.” They go on to add a FAQ thread, where they elaborate more on the locked accounts, as well as their linking practices, claiming that “there has never been an intention, or agreement, or any commitment to link back to a writer,” “there is nothing illegal or even suspicious in our business practices” and “if you read negative posts about us, look a few lines below or to the side, you will always find our competition’s promos,” none of which makes any sense.

- Sex educator and writer Violet Blue comments that EF may be looking at a reputation crisis, and says she will be writing more about the scandal shortly. Tristan Taormino re-tweets about the debacle, and sex toy stores such as myticklespot begin commenting on it, as well.

- In spite of it all, a number of people are deciding to stay with EF because of other factors.

There’s a good amount of discussion, re-tweeting, etc going on on Twitter under the hashtags #EFLies, #EdensFallacy and #EdensFucked.

Epiphora has put together a (much more well-written) post about these events, with more past-employee-horror-stories, here.

To summarize: the biggest issue some people are taking with EF is that they claim to want to foster a community, but their actions indicate that they could care less.

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Interested in putting up a link or banner ad? I’m currently accepting ads from all kinds of sexuality-related websites. Ads will be displayed on the sidebar on the right, and will [...] No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> Just a note: I’m actively looking for advertisers, so drop me a line if you’re interested & you own a sexuality-related site!

—

Interested in putting up a link or banner ad? I’m currently accepting ads from all kinds of sexuality-related websites. Ads will be displayed on the sidebar on the right, and will be visible on all pages and posts.

Why advertising on Heartbreak Nymphomania will work for you:

- I have a Google Page Rank of 4.

- I receive up to 2,000 pageviews per week, and up to 9,000 pageviews per month.

- My site content of sex toy & porn reviews, erotica, and essays on BDSM, queer issues, and sexuality, attracts readers that would be interested in your site’s content, as well.

If you’re interested and want to know my rates, email me at wilhelmina.wang[at]gmail[dot]com, or leave me a comment!

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[Photo via Pin Up Files]

Hey, guess what?

One year ago, I started understanding and reveling in my sexuality for the first time. I also happened to sign up for a WordPress account, I wrote my first blog post under the [...] No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]>

[Photo via Pin Up Files]

Hey, guess what?

One year ago, I started understanding and reveling in my sexuality for the first time. I also happened to sign up for a WordPress account, I wrote my first blog post under the name “Wilhelmina Wang”… and I haven’t stopped writing since.

Yep, it’s my blog’s first birthday!

Quite a bit has happened since then. I have met lovers and said goodbye to lovers; I found the sexblogger community and have made some close friendships there. And I’m so happy that I started writing this blog.

Heartbreak Nymphomania has seen a lot of firsts. The first time I slept with a person who identifies as transgender, the first time I dominated someone, the first time I tried out a sex toy… and the first time I looked at myself in the mirror and liked my own body.

So my blogiversary contest is going to revolve around firsts.

To enter the contest, I want you to tell me a story about the first time you did something that made you smoulder with desire, or bubble with joy. Anything involving sex/sexuality/general hottness. Like:

- your first really good kiss
- fulfilling a sex fantasy
- finding a dress/cologne/packing cock/something that made you feel drop-dead gorgeous
- first time squirting…

The possibilities are endless

There will be two parts to the contest:

1. Email me your stories before September 12, 11:59pm PST. My email is wilhelmina.wang [at] gmail [dot] com.They can be from a couple hundred words to a couple thousand. (Just be reasonable, please!)

2. I will post my top ten stories and leave it up to my readers to vote for their favorites! Voting will close on September 19 11:59pm PST.

I’ll award prizes to the writers of the top 3 stories. Each person will get 3 items, with first place getting first pick, second place getting second pick, etc.

You do NOT have to run a blog in order to enter.

Now onto the prizes!

First, three dildos from Tantus (It’s Tantus. That’s already reason enough to get excited):

The Vamp: 6.75″ length, 1.55″ diameter, retains hot and cold temperatures, and sparkles just like Edward Cullen!

The Niagara O2 (blue): 7.65″ length, 1.4″ diameter, part of Tantus’ dual density line (soft outer layer, dense inner layer).

The Curve (midnight purple): 6″ length, 1 38″ diameter, featuring a wider-base for harness compatibility.

Next, two butt plugs and organic, water-based lube from PinkCherry.com sex toys. I’ve been reviewing for PinkCherry.com for a while now, and they’ve been a joy to work with. They’re providing a Lelo Bob (bordeaux) & an njoy pure plug (small):

And a 4oz bottle of Intimate Organics Hydra glycerine free water based lubricant. (It’s organic and vegan-friendly )

From Tabu Toys, a pair of Kinklab’s Vampire Gloves (small/large):

And finally, a complete set of Tristan Taormino‘s Chemistry series, and her new book, the Anal Sex Position Guide. (Both autographed!)

I was so excited about the wealth of “yes!”-es and generous gifts I was offered when I emailed out asking for sponsors! I’ll be jealous of whoever wins, because I’d like a number of those items for myself

If you’d like to give my blog and my sponsors some love, feel free to reblog the contest details or tweet about it! It would make me very happy

So what are you waiting for? Email me! I’ll be looking forward to reading your stories.

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… and I’m busy cooking up something special.

What is it?

You’ll find out soon enough

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A version of this post, along with my introductory post, are linked in the sidebar under the search box.

I haven’t been blogging as much for the past few months, and my posts haven’t been up to par, either. Well, according to my personal standards, anyway. While I was in the [...] No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]>

A version of this post, along with my introductory post, are linked in the sidebar under the search box.

I haven’t been blogging as much for the past few months, and my posts haven’t been up to par, either. Well, according to my personal standards, anyway. While I was in the Caribbean on my exchange program, I didn’t really know what I was doing, and as soon as I figured it out and got more into blogging… I came back to my regular college, got thrown back into its crazy whirlwind and as a result didn’t have time to sufficiently implement that knowledge.

I’ve been blogging for quite a while now. ~6 months may not be much for some, but it’s a long time for me I didn’t start this blog with any particular aims in mind, but over time I feel as though I’ve been drifting away from some “vision” that’s been underlying all of this random prattle I’ve been releasing into the interwebs.

So I’ve decided to write a credo. I’ve been thinking of doing this for a long time now, ever since I started out, really.

How am I going to write this blog?

#1 I will be uncompromisingly honest in what I choose to reveal. I will stay true to myself (as corny as that might sound).

#2 I will protect the identities of the people I mention. (And if they ask me not to post something about them, I won’t.)

#3 I will write what feels right, special, or significant to me.

#4 I will preserve memories.

#5 I will write read-ably, accessibly, and of the best quality I can manage – I want to improve my writing, in general – but I will not please the crowd simply for the sake of pleasing the crowd, either.

#6 I hope to titillate, thought-provoke, or get some other kind of reaction out of you

#7 I will keep asking questions and educating myself about sexuality

#8 I will treat my readers and fellow bloggers with respect… as long as the same is done to me.

There we go. I have to apologize for the lack of erotica and the large amount of meta lately… I guess that kind of thing is just on my mind more often, plus I’ve either not had the time or the mood to sit down and dedicate an hour or two to the joy of smutwriting. Now, if could only sort out my time-management issues…

Thanks for reading.

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Let me put it this way. Lately I’ve been blogging somewhat mechanically, doing MM and HNT because they are there, writing things because I can and not necessarily because that’s what I want to write. The problem is that I don’t [...] No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> Lately I’ve been taking a very ambivalent view towards sex.

Let me put it this way. Lately I’ve been blogging somewhat mechanically, doing MM and HNT because they are there, writing things because I can and not necessarily because that’s what I want to write. The problem is that I don’t really know what I want to write, now that I’ve worked through many of my issues regarding sex and relationships… Issues that I didn’t start this blog to help overcome, yet that’s how it worked out. In the same way, I’m not sure what I want to get out of sex anymore.

It’s not like I’ve lost my sex drive. Far from it. I’ve definitely sat around with F, complaining about not getting any and playfully discussing cruising for guys together.

At times I miss the intensity of being in love, I miss the emotional and psychological color that it gives to sex, yet at the same time I’m so fed up, so tired of the roller-coaster moods. And I see couples together and I wrinkle my nose, thinking no, I don’t want that.

Well, eventually I want that. Just not now.

And then sometimes I feel like just playing; flirting with people and maybe not even having it lead up to anything. Or taking someone home randomly simply because I find them pretty and compelling. At the same time I’m too lazy for that; too much of a hassle to spend that much time and effort on something that will very likely turn out to be meaningless.

—

I was out last night with Christopher and a few other people. And after a little while of drinking, I found myself being randomly pushy towards Christopher for no real reason.

When was the first time I talked about needing to explore my domme (?) identity more? The fact of the matter is that I still have all of these needs, these desires, and I’m still failing to find a way to fulfil them. I’m pushy towards Christopher because he’s nice enough to take it, to tolerate it without getting angry, but he doesn’t exactly like it, I think.

I don’t even know if this is “domination” or if it’s even at all sexual. What I want is someone to entertain my petty little insecurities. Someone who will let me take control of them when I’m anxious or insecure or need attention or need reassurance or feel out of control and simply need the feeling of being in control of something, no matter how superficial that control that might be. Someone who will do menial, pointless little tasks for me, like fetch something for me if I ask them to, even if I could easily do it myself. Someone who’s willing to be mildly inconvenienced for no good reason except to make me feel better. Someone who’s willing to let me push them, test them, make them jump through hoops.

It’s not like I would be like that all the time – but just now and again. It’s just a game – I know that, and the other person would know that too, but would play with me anyway. Forget gifts, forget romance, forget flowery poetry – willingly giving up control over oneself to somebody else? Is there any other better show of affection?

So how exactly am I going to figure this out? Walk up to someone I’m interested in and instead of asking hey, want to go out some time?, ask them hey, do you want to be my bitch?

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Appearance. I’m probably going to play around with the layout a little bit. I want to make the navigation easier and less cluttered, so I’ll probably be switching to a three-column layout as soon as I [...] No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> Just a little update about where this blog might be going next. I’d love to hear your thoughts

Appearance. I’m probably going to play around with the layout a little bit. I want to make the navigation easier and less cluttered, so I’ll probably be switching to a three-column layout as soon as I can find a good one (recently found a three-column version of the one I’m currently using).

Voice. I’ve been trying to use a more… narrative-like and less conversational style for my erotica posts. I don’t know how well that’s working out (check back to a few of my last erotica/hnt posts). What I don’t want to happen is to lose my honesty and frankness and end up sounding extremely fake, contrived or gimmicky. Part of the point of this blog is to force me to delve into myself and deal with what I find very candidly and openly.

Content. So far I’ve thought about the following:

- Talking about other stuff besides sex(uality). Seperating sex from the rest of my life is proving increasingly difficult. Sometimes – surprise! – I’m not thinking about sex at all and have a lot of other things I want to talk about, but don’t, because… well, this is a sexblog after all. I have another blog that I use for such things, but it’s not nearly as well-maintained and doesn’t really have much of a readership. I’ve recently thought about ‘integrating’ the two blogs to some extent; and blogging about some of the other things I think about, here. (Examples: new media, blogging, writing, personal development, productivity.) I’m wondering if anyone would want to read about that, though. I’m assuming that anybody who reads or writes a blog would be at least a little interested in the writing/thought process that goes into that, but I can’t be sure…

- Sex toy reviews! I recently got an email from Vibrator.com which basically said ‘hey check us out we’re cool’ – but after checking them out I noticed that they’ve a sex toy reviewer ad. And I think Sextoy.com is looking for people too. I’m probably going to apply and see what happens once I’m back at College and (presumably) have one or two friends to play with.

- Book reviews. I’ve plenty of books I want to read – mostly about queerness and BDSM-related things – and I’ll probably be talking about them here. At the top of the list is “Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns” and “SM 101″.

Tumblr/Shared Items. Like I said, I’ll be sharing blogposts here; but I’ve stumbled across many sexbloggers who also keep Tumblogs, so I’m wondering if maybe Tumblr is a better way to share interesting links and other miscellany. We’ll see.

That’s all for now. Let me know what you think… and if you have comments on anything I haven’t mentioned, feel free to drop me a line

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