I've known about Ophoria for a while. I've wanted to try their products because they just look so pretty. The Ophoria Pleasure No. 6, which Fascinations sent me to review, definitely doesn't disappoint on that front. I like the soft shade of pink it comes in, and the swirls along the shaft. It almost looks like... a flower. The only thing that bothered me about its appearance was the seam, which isn't terribly conspicuous, but takes away a little from the overall elegant look.

The silicone it's made out of is plush, firm, and lovely to touch. It would be a great addition to my strap-on collection, and would make a nice, standard dildo to warm up to bigger, bumpier or curvier dildos. It even has a suction-cup base, and would be great to use anally since it's on the smaller and firmer side.

Unfortunately? I didn't enjoy using it because of one tiny detail: the bump just underneath the dildo's head. It's as irritating as hell. It doesn't feel sharp or painful, just... like a small, bumpy thing poking my vaginal walls. As I put the dildo inside me, my brow furrowed in mildly discomfited befuddlement. It was enough to distract me from the feeling of the dildo as a whole.

So, honestly, that's all I have to say about that. I don't really know why the bump is there, outside of being an overall design staple in this and some of their other products, like the Beyond No. 3. Maybe the bump feels pleasurable to some people?

Anyway, it's a shame, because in all other respects, the dildo is not earth-shattering, but definitely decent. I ended up giving it to one of my friends who was curious about experimenting with strap-on play, and she was quite happy to receive it.

To sterilize the Pleasure No. 6, you can wash it with 10% bleach solution, put it in the top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or boil it for at least 5 minutes. Also, silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubes.

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As with all Lelo toys, Bob is presented beautifully, and comes with a satin drawstring bag and one-year warranty. It's also made of the smooth, hard silicone that is typical of Lelo.

Due to Bob's small size, I was able to slide it in very easily, and then... I could barely feel anything. I could feel it when I clenched around it. It felt very thin and unsubstantial. I don't even use large plugs regularly; my go-to plug is the njoy pure plug medium. While a beginner couldn't take the pure plug without using something smaller for a while first, it definitely isn't size-queen material either. Bob is very comfortable, definitely, but part of the point of wearing a plug, for me, is feeling it, if only a little bit.

On the other hand, there was a part of Bob I definitely could feel, lodged between my cheeks: the handle. I've read some reviews that criticized Bob's potentially unsafe base, and though I could definitely feel it, it also didn't seem enough to prevent the entire toy potentially slipping into my ass, especially when I was sitting down. I was paranoid about the Bob being pushed in somehow, since the handle is round rather than phlanged and it seems like it could be pushed in with a little force, especially if you've used larger objects in your ass.

Bob, while usable by people of any gender, is essentially designed for people with a prostate, and I was fortunate enough to try it on L. He had it in while we 69ed, and here the handle was a plus. I very much enjoyed putting my finger through the loop and pulling it in and out slightly while I blew him. Afterwards, he told me that he could also feel the handle very obviously, and that the plug felt more noticeable in his butt (than, say, the Bootie), probably due to the plug's length. He didn't see himself wearing it for long periods of time, but definitely liked fucking me with it in.

As for cleaning: Bob is made of silicone, which is body-safe and non-porous, and can be shared after being sterilized. To sterilize the plug, you can wash it with 10% bleach solution, put it in the top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or boil it for at least 5 minutes. Also, silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubes.

So, my verdict? Bob, while quite the looker, was just not for me, although I can see plenty of people, most probably anal beginners, enjoying it.

Specs:
- Type: Anal Plug
- Material: Silicone
- Length: 3.75"
- Width: 1.25"
- Colors: Bordeaux / Deep Blue
- Price @ Vibrator.com: $45

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This lube works very well with anal play, and is very long lasting. You only really need a couple of drops, so even though the bottle I received is tiny (1oz), I've used it multiple times and I've barely even used any up. The tiny bottle is also perfectly travel-sized.

I've read that this lube doesn't wash off in water, which at times is a negative thing because it makes it more difficult to get off my hands/toys post-wank-sesh, but that's the only complaint I have about this lube.

That's really all I have to say about this lube. It works. Just remember not to use it with silicone toys, since it will fuck up the toy.

Specs:
- Material: Silicone
- Amounts: 1oz / 2.5oz / 4.9oz
- Prices @ PinkCherry.com: $9.99 / $14.99 / $28.88

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The lesson there, and in all of these stories, is that there is risk involved in submission. I don’t mean the physical risks, but the emotional ones, the ones that require a leap of faith, a knowledge that what you are doing may unnerve you, confuse you and scare you, even while it makes you wet and eager and ready for more.

[Excerpt from Introduction: Risk and Reward]

Rachel Kramer Bussel so wonderfully expresses one of the aspects of BDSM that draws me to it the most - and keeps me coming back.

Lately, I have been antsy. My workload has increased and I've spent hours and hours tutoring students. Last night, I came home and wanted nothing more than to abandon my mind and dedicate myself to something mechanical and pleasing to someone else. I ended up cooking, but the dish didn't come out right, and it didn't quite assuage the restlessness that I was feeling.

My lovers are vanilla at the moment, and I've no foreseeable possibility of a kinky encounter. Submissive energy has entered my fantasies, and my mind is plagued with cravings that I picture while I'm getting off:

---

The first fantasy is all about pain. He places me over his lap, lifts up my skirt, and yanks my panties down to my knees. He starts out with his hand - his hands are always large, with wide palms. I am not allowed to kick or move my legs. He wants them straight, flat against the couch, and slightly spread so that he can access me whenever the fancy strikes him. I curl my fingers into the upholstery; trying not to cry out, but feeling the noise welling in my throat regardless. After I've been thoroughly warmed up, he switches to the hairbrush. The hard wood results in a new, sharper pain, while waking up the duller pain left behind from the spanks with his hand.

A few minutes in, the tears come. My thoughts are filled with nothing but: pain, don't move, and why? Eventually he makes me stand up. My face is contorted and streaked with tears, which embarrasses me more than my recent position over his lap.

He gestures for me to bend over the back of his desk chair. Same rules: spread my legs, and keep them still. He finishes with several strokes from his belt. I hear the leather whistle through the air, and crack across my already sore flesh. This time, I scream.

He doesn't stop until my ass is blistered red and I can no longer control my sobs. He brushes his hand lightly over one cheek, which makes me flinch. I already know I'm dripping. He grabs my hips, thrusts into me without any preamble, and his hipbones press into my roasting flesh. As soon as he enters me, my orgasm rolls over me in a wave, but he keeps going.

I think to myself: I'm glad I didn't move my legs the entire time, like he wanted.

---

The next fantasy is about servitude. I picture myself living with someone who works hard every day and comes home tired. Before he comes home, I cook one of his favorite dishes. From scratch; an authentic recipe I learned and then added my own flair to. I serve the dinner and clean up; after dinner, we go to the bedroom and strip down. He lays down on the bed and I oil my hands, rubbing the tension out of his sore back and shoulders. I am naked because he likes the feeling of my breasts and cunt brushing against his body. Once he is relaxed, he rolls over and pulls me on top of him, entering me in one swift stroke.

---

The fantasy after that is about uncontrol. I'm spread-eagled and restrained on the bed, with my legs bent at the knee. He's fucking me with a toy that's designed to hit my G-spot, and it feels wonderful. He fucks me so hard and irresistibly that my orgasm hits me before I'm even aware that it's happening; and he continues until I have another, and another, and my body is spent. I can barely move, or think...

---

The final fantasy is about possession. We're in bed, naked, in the dark, and he fists his hand in my hair, pulling my head down to worship his cock. I use my lips, throat and tongue to the best of my ability, shutting down my mind and letting his cock hit the back of my throat. I gag, once; a stream of spit surges out of my mouth and down his shaft. He pulls my head away and tells me he wants to finish in my ass. I position myself; face in the pillows, on my knees, ass and cunt in the air, presented to him. He fingers my ass until I'm moaning, and then pushes his slick cock into me easily. I moan, and whimper, his cock hitting something inside of me that makes me see stars. When he's done, I lay face down for a while, reveling in the feeling of being nothing but his object of pleasure; the receptacle for his come.

---

Please, Sir speaks to all of these fantasies of mine, and has definitely helped fan the fire of my submissive cravings.

Submission is so many things to me: trust, expression, abandon, servitude, skill. Above all, though, it's knowing that I'm pleasing my lover by giving myself over to him. One of my favorite stories from the anthology displays this perfectly:

Sometimes, a few hours after she has fallen asleep, Veronica feels her husband climb atop her, his cock hard and insistently throbbing against her thighs. She knows what to do. She spreads her legs, wide. As Vince buries his cock inside his wife, stretching her open, she moans drowsily. She doesn't have to move or groan or call out his name. She only has to allow herself to be used. It turns her on that in the dark of their bedroom, their bodies heavy with sleep, she is just a tight warm space from which her husband will extract her satisfaction.

...

Vince said, "I'm not looking for a maid. I'm not looking for a mother. I'm looking for a body. I also know how to appreciate that which I am allowed to take."

On their wedding night, Vince told Veronica that he didn't believe in punishment. He believed in discipline. Then he taught her the difference. For a long while, Vince stood behind his new wife, inhaling her scent, letting his hands memorize the contours of her body. She shivered. Vince smacked her ass, smiling as her skin rippled beneath his hand. A blush of red quickly appeared. He smacked Veronica's ass again, harder this time, his hand stinging as it rebounded. "Discipline," he said, "is a reminder."

...

Veronica looked up at Vince and saw unexpected kindness in his eyes. "Have I pleased you?" she asked. Vince reared back, holding the tip of his cock at the sensitive, quivering lips of her cunt. He squeezed Veronica's throat harder, and she wrapped one hand around his wrist. Vince thrust forward. Veronica cried out again, feeling a blade of pleasure so deeply, she thought her bod might split at the heart. Finally, he said, "Yes."

[Excerpt from Veronica's Body by Isabelle Grey]

You can order a copy of the book from Amazon.com.

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First: specifics. The Restraint System is made up of four 60" nylon straps, a nylon connector strap, and four cuffs. All these straps are adjustable, like backpack straps. The cuffs are made of nylon with neoprene backing and Velcro closures, and are all 15" long. The straps, which you secure the cuffs to, end in O-rings. The cuffs come with O-rings and metal snaps. You could easily wash all of the pieces by hand. I feel like throwing everything in the wash wouldn't be good because of the metal pieces. You can also use different cuffs with the straps, if you wish.

You set up the Restraint System by lifting the mattress, and throwing the system underneath. Then you can adjust the straps to the desired lengths. As you can see vaguely in the picture, the packaging suggests that you either put the straps at the top and bottom of the bed, or have them at the sides of the bed. There are probably many other configurations you can try. I think the straps are all long enough that you could use it with a futon or something. The entire system is so light and easy to put away that I can see it being very easy to travel with - you know, for trysts in hotel rooms and such. The straps are also easy to put away: simply stow them under the mattress once you're done. Instant hiding place.

Me and J set up the system and I had him secure me to it. We ended up positioning the straps at the top and bottom of the bed, which gave me a bit more room to move around (I was able to turn myself onto my side, for example). He tightened the straps until they were taut and I couldn't move at all. I pulled and struggled against the cuffs to no avail. The cuffs, besides being completely secure, were fuzzy and very comfortable as well.

J teasingly told me he was going to leave me there tied up, and then proceeded to use my belly as a tabletop for his notebook. For a while, he wrote down notes, and read certain excerpts to me. J isn't kinky at all, so I didn't slide into subspace entirely. Despite that, I felt the same pleasant, secure, Zen feeling at being restrained by these cuffs, as I did when I was first tied up with rope. After a while, J put his notebook away, started nuzzling and snuggling with me... which clearly lead to other things. He re-secured the straps my ankles were attached to, so that they were on either side of the bed and my legs were spread. Being fucked while restrained? Really liked it. And would definitely repeat it.

The system set up on me and J's bed. Please try to ignore the cardboard-box "nightstand"...

As much as I love this system, and as much as I agree with many of the glowing reviews I've read, I can find some places for improvement. For one thing, the cuffs are all the same size. For some reason, I expect most people have thicker ankles than wrists. Or maybe that's just me? I also have very thin wrists. When the cuffs were secured around my wrists, only an inch or so of Velcro was actually touching. These cuffs are long enough that larger people could wear them comforably; but maybe Sportsheets could similarly consider people with skinny wrists? In any case, I still couldn't pull myself loose from the cuffs, so I suppose the size of the cuffs doesn't actually matter.

Besides that, I would have liked it if the snaps were detachable from the cuffs, so they could be used for other things, though their permanent attachment to the cuffs makes them less easy to lose. I'd also like it if the set came with some sort of pouch unit I could store it in. And, while I couldn't get out of the cuffs by pulling against them, with my hands close together I could reach the adjustment point of the strap and loosen it. I could also easily pull the Velcro. If my hands had been spread-eagled, that wouldn't have been the case, but then the straps could have been designed with the adjustment points at the other ends. Except then I guess the plastic pieces would create a "bump" in the mattress. J didn't see this as a flaw, since it gives the bottom an "out."

In short: I like the Under the Bed Restraint System a lot. It is awesome in its versatility.

Price @ Babeland.com: $55

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I had the same issues with this crop as I did with the other Spartacus crop I reviewed: the Wide Tip Bat:

One thing that bothered me about the tip was that I didn't feel like it was made of pure leather. I've briefly seen and touched an actual riding crop, to be used on horses. The Wide Tip Bat's tip and the "real" riding crop's tip felt very different. The "real" riding crop's tip was much more pliable and somehow softer. The Wide Tip Bat's tip feels... almost artificial, as if it were made of leather and some synthetic material, or a mixture of leather and plastic. When I bend and push it back and forth with my fingers, the material makes a crackling noise. I'm no expert when it comes to leather, and I couldn't find any information on Spartacus's websites stating what the crop is made of exactly, so I don't have any solid facts to go on. I just know I don't like how the material feels in my hands. It feels plasticky, not like leather.

I tweeted about it and the tweeps who responded said: #1 it must be bad quality leather #2 it must be dried out leather, and that I should "treat" it. Either way, the crackly noise does not make me happy.

As I said before, I think I'll hold off on the cheaper BDSM gear options, and wait until I have the cash to shell out for quality pieces.

However, I quite like this crop. Why? Well, regardless of the sub-par quality, it still works really well as a prop. It's black, it's intimidating, and still evokes a sense of I am in charge, and I am going to whip your ass. I'd prefer to have a sub-par crop than, well, no crop. I also like the size of this crop much more than the other one I tried out. It's 18" long, about half as long as the Wide Tip Bat, which is more of a standard crop length, I think. This crop's shortness makes it easier to wield, and also easier to travel with and store, which is a concern to me as I'm not settled in a place/job yet and will be traveling a lot.

Comparison to a paddle and the Wide Tip Bat. The Medium Tip Crop is at the bottom.

I used this crop on myself, at Sir's request. Using it on myself was a bit awkward, and I couldn't really get any hard hits in. I also used it at Zeta Mu's runway show, where my act was to dom someone onstage. Before the show, during meetings, I was in my dom outfit and walking around with the crop, and at one point I asked someone to hold it for me and it got passed all over the room because people were so interested in playing with it. One of my friends kept caressing people with it. During the act itself, I used it to direct my sub, I pushed it lengthways against her throat when she resisted me, and spanked her a few times. I tried it on my calves beforehand, and it does sting quite nicely.

Basically, I'm content with this crop and the usefulness it has as a prop and symbol, at least until I can afford something better.

Price @ Sextoy.com: $24.93

sex toys | BDSM gear

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So what does the Vamp have in common with Edward Cullen? The Vamp may not be super-strong, watch you while you sleep, protect you from baddies, or want to suck your blood, but it does sparkle under light. And if you toss it in the fridge (or under hot water) it retains that temperature.

When I took the Vamp out of its packaging, I wasn't particularly impressed. It wasn't curved, the sparkles weren't all that evident, and it wasn't a pretty color like most of my dildoes. I guess the sparkles were meant to be more noticeable under light, and at typical room lighting the toy looks more shimmery and pearly, not sparkly per se. I also noticed it was quite girthy, but girth has never been something I particularly cared about. Despite my first impression, though, I very much liked how the Vamp felt when I put it to use. I first used it during a reward masturbation session that Sir granted me, mostly because it seemed like the dildo most similar to Sir's cock; based on the little information I had, anyway. (i.e. Large + girthy.) And despite my first impression, I grew to like how the Vamp filled me, and how the head pushed against my g-spot almost perfectly. The relatively simple and realistic design of the Vamp also made it easier for me to imagine being fucked by Sir; something I don't really do with my other dildoes.

The Vamp is perhaps the only "realistic" dildo I own. It does look pretty realistic, from the pronounced head, to the skin-like creases & veins running along the surface. Like most Tantus dildos, it is very firm and glossy. The Vamp retains temperature pretty well, although not at the same speed or intensity as steel or ceramic. It does retain temperature for quite a while, though - after I took the Vamp out of the fridge and used it during a quick, 10-minute wank session, it still felt cold afterwards.

Like all Tantus dildos, the Vamp is made of silicone, which is body-safe and non-porous, and can be shared after being sterilized. To sterilize it, you can wash it with 10% bleach solution, put it in the top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or boil it for at least 5 minutes. Also, silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubes. The Vamp's base makes the toy useable in a strap-on harness, or for anal play.

I don't have much to say about the Vamp, but it definitely exceeded my expectations. I may not be a fan of Twilight, but I am a fan of the Vamp.

Specs:
- Length: 6.5"
- Width: 1.5" (widest point)
- Price @ Pinkcherry.com: $39.99

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Vol.5 is posed of five twenty-minute-long "episodes". My overall impression was a positive one. The actors' genders were very diverse: femmes, bois, transmen, cismen, genderqueers. (I tried my best to refer to everyone with the pronoun that seems the most correct, but please correct me if I'm wrong.) All of these scenes were quite kinky, also, including flogging, cuffs, sensation play, etc. Most of the porn I own is pretty vanilla and I really liked getting to see kink in action.

The scenes are filmed very differently from the more mainstream style that I'm used to: no background music whatsoever - sometimes ordinary, daily-life background noises came into the scene; sets that looked very much like an somebody's actual bedroom; and lighting and cinematography that looked more natural, almost like a home movie. I felt very much like I was getting a peek behind the curtains at a queer couple's actual sex life; and I think Kuma & Julie Warren are a couple in real life?

However, while authentic, the filming style did have its downsides. I actually missed having background music because some scenes would hit slow points and the silence just made it worse. The background noises also ranged from distracting (drilling?!) to wonderful (thunder). And there were times when the camera was blurred, or would go out of focus for a few seconds, or would be grainy. I have no idea if that was intentional - for stylistic reasons - or just a technical fuck-up, but in any case it was irritating. I can appreciate a little artsiness, but I do not want an out-of-focus image when the camera is zooming in for a close-up of somebody getting fisted!

Also, for some reason, the scenes all started and ended with shots of a woman watching the scenes on her laptop. The scene would also occasionally switch to this woman blinking, or fiddling with the mousepad, complete with computer-noises. I didn't really get the point of this. Okay, yeah, I'm watching other people get off, I get it? Was it meant to emphasize the voyeurism of the porn-watcher? I have no idea. I didn't like it at all, though. I felt that it interrupted the flow of the scenes and took me out of them.

And now, a scene-by-scene rundown:

August & Stacey Staxxx

This first scene was probably the weakest of the bunch. It was very slow, and at times was almost a chore to watch. The premise was pretty cute: it's August's birthday and Stacey has a surprise for hir. They take turns to tie each other's hands with gift ribbon, and drip wax on each other's chests from colorful birthday-cake candles. The wax play was very hot to watch; I loved hearing Stacey hiss in pain/pleasure as the wax dripped onto her breasts, and then see the angry red marks left behind. Eventually Stacey takes out August's cock and fucks hir while hir hands are tied: also hot to watch, as August strained against hir bonds, trying to get Stacey's breast in hir mouth. The scene ends with August fingerfucking Stacey to orgasm. I found Stacey very cute and teasing; I particularly liked her girly outfit combined with her unshaved her armpits and pussy. I felt like she had no energy, though; she seemed almost sleepy when she was bottoming. I liked August's nervous laughter and how ze seemed very into the scene, but the only exchanges they had were contrived banter centered around the birthday theme. When Stacey finally begs, "Fuck me!" towards the end, I was was so relieved to actually hear some dirty talk.

Kuma & Julie Warren

This scene is better. In fact, it's pretty fucking awesome. Kuma and Julie aren't the typical kinds of people I find attractive, but I loved their attitudes. Kuma has some pretty awesome tattoos, and I loved his dirty talk and commanding air. Some lines I loved? "I can't wait to tear into you," "Let me see those nipples," "I want my cock deep inside you." Julie is very sweet and responsive. This scene is heavy on the kink: Kuma gets Julie out of her dress and flogs her back (he has mad flogging skillz, I think), punches her chest (I don't know quite what to think of chest-hitting just yet), rips off her stockings, lays her down on the bed and canes her inner thighs, offers her water and then spits it over her before actually pouring some into her mouth from a cup, and finally fucks her with his cock, and then his fist. As she was fucked harder, Julie's voice got more and more incoherent and desperate. I loved watching the fisting. I got more and more worked up as more of his fingers disappeared into her... but then the camera angle changed and I couldn't see the actual fisting. The only disappointing part of an otherwise great scene.

Rex & Scarlett Chaos (aka. Essin' Em!)

This is a pretty straightforward scene. I was looking forward to seeing it because Essin' Em (Scarlett) is in it; her blog was one of the first ones I started reading, and which pretty much introduced me to the sexblogging world There's more of a butch/femme dynamic going on here. Scarlett is wearing a pretty awesome black dress & red pumps. Rex cuffs her to the bedframe and then fucks her with his hands & cock. Red is quietly charming, and Scarlett is a sassy bottom. I loved it. She teases Rex, refuses to do some of the things he asks until he makes her, and at one point when she's restrained, demands/asks, "Kiss me. Come kiss me. Now. ...Please?" Towards the end of the scene, she gets untied and then knocks Rex's hands out of the way to give him a blowjob. She also wasn't kidding when she said on her blog that she's known for being "a bit loud." Holy shit, is she loud!

The first three scenes were decent, but it's really the last two scenes that I found very hot and would probably watch over again. The first three scene were made up of pretty clear more-masculine/more-feminine pairings, and I wanted to see more genderfuckery. I also really wanted to see the tops get off. It's not like I think there's a problem with masculine/feminine dichotomies per se, or with people being "stone" (though I have no idea if those actors were stone in general or just for those scenes), but I just get off more on fluidity and blurring boundaries.

Red & Cyd Loverboy

I find these two immensely attractive. Together, their effect was explosive. Cyd comes over to "study", but is in for a surprise: as soon as he comes into the room, a half-naked and strapped-on Red jumps him and they start wrestling on the bed. I loved the initial struggle, how Cyd resists at first but eventually surrenders, and how the wrestling devolves into giggles. Red is rough with Cyd; ze wastes no time in stripping Cyd's clothes off and binding his wrists with his own suspenders. Awesome genderfucking moment? Red finding Cyd's "wiener" (a sock stuffed down his pants), taking it out, and then gagging him with it and saying "Looks like you don't have a wiener anymore!" Red then takes off Cyd's pants, flips him over, smacks his ass and starts fucking his ass with zir fingers after making him ask for it. Hot hot hot. Throughout all this, Red keeps up a smiling, slightly demeaning stream, with Cyd squealing and moaning behind the gag. They switch towards the end, with Cyd fisting Red. This time I could see the fisting. It was awesome.

Shawn (aka. Syd Blakovich) & Mickey Mod

Syd Blakovich (Shawn)! I've been wanting to watch her perform since forever. And Mickey Mod, a cisgendered man? I can see people arguing about whether or not he should be included, but for me, the answer is very much yes. Shawn is fierce, and Mickey fingerfucks and sucks cock like a pro. More awesome genderfucking moments? Mickey fingerfucking Shawn's pussy and sucking her cock; Shawn straddling and fucking Mickey (i.e. penis-in-vag sex) while still strapped on. Shawn sucks Mickey off as well, and the scene ends with Shawn taking off her cock, standing over Mickey and rubbing herself to orgasm while he jacks himself off as well. The only things I didn't like about this scene were the lack of communication (they only exchange words at the beginning and the end of the scene), and the red screen with white writing that randomly appeared 3-4 times. Seriously, what the fuck. I don't know if this is just a problem with my copy, but I do not want random ads flashing while I'm trying to watch a hot scene & get off.

To conclude: I find the whole Crash Pad concept pretty great, and I'm excited to see where they go next. I'd definitely want to watch more of their DVDs. All I ask is they up the quality of their filming. Sweet scenes like these do not deserve to be faulted by crappy filming.

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The Vixen Creations Mistress falls very much into the second category. Ever since I saw it in sex toy reviews or sex toy stores, my thought on it was: I must strap that cock on ASAP!

I mean, first of all, look at that lovely, bright shade of turquoise. I've also seen pictures of the Mistress in other alluring colors, such as orange and sparkly-clear, but (un?)fortunately Pinkcherry.com doesn't carry those options. And then there's its minimally realistic appearance, i.e. it has a head and a shaft, but otherwise straddles the line between realistic and non-realistic. And then the name: Mistress. Sexy without being cheesy.

I felt just as strongly that the Mistress belonged on my crotch when I put it to the test. Its slim & modest size made sense on my small body. Also, the first time I watched a queer porno and saw the actress continually palming and fondling her strap-on even when a scene wasn't happening, I didn't get it. When I strapped on the Mistress? I got it. I couldn't stop touching the damn thing. And I really wanted to put it in someone's mouth.

For the purpose of this review, I tried the Mistress out on myself. It was definitely nice - the head bumped against my g-spot - but it was nothing mindblowing. It's quite thin and a little on the short side, so if you're a size queen it probably won't do much for you. The head is not very pronounced. It's also pretty soft and floppy. The modest size made it quite ideal for anal use, but due to the floppiness, thrusting was more difficult and my hand ended up getting tired. I can also see the floppiness making it difficult to strap on and fuck someone with this dildo.

The Mistress has a hole in the base for a bullet vibe. (There's another version of the Mistress available that doesn't have a hole in the base.) The hole is very deep - it extends to the dildo's mid-point. That makes the bottom half of the dildo even floppier. The "depth" of the hole can be useful, though, since you can insert the provided watch bullet all the way in, not with the cap hanging out like most dildoes, and wear it with the bullet in for added stimulation. I felt more vibrations when wearing it than when using it on myself, though. The provided bullet comes with a retrieval cord, but you can also squeeze the middle of the dildo to pop the bullet out. Putting lube on the bullet also makes insertion and retrieval easier.

The Mistress is made of silicone, which is body-safe and non-porous, and can be shared after being sterilized. To sterilize it, you can wash it with 10% bleach solution, put it in the top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or boil it for at least 5 minutes. Also, silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubes. The Mistress also comes in the typical Vixen Creations plastic tube, which can be a nice storage unit.

The Mistress may not be everyone's cup of tea, but despite its drawbacks, I really like it as a strap-on dildo.

Specs:
- Length: 6 3/4"
- Width: 1 1/4" (at widest)
- Price @ Pinkcherry.com: $49.99

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Apparently she and my sister had been having a bit of fun with it: trying to think of different uses for it (my sister: shoehorn?) and mock-swatting each other with it.

"Good thing your dad didn't see it," my mom told me.

Good thing indeed. I'm just glad I have a mom who's cool with me reviewing sextoys. (She doesn't know about the blog though. I think she'd be a lot less cool with me posting HNTs...)

Anyway, I finally got it in the mail, so now I'm reviewing it.

The Singapore Stinger is a light wooden paddle. It's about as wide as three rulers lying next to each other, and very thin. (About 0.2" thickness?) The handle is comfortable to grip. I really want to own one of those big, heavy duty frat paddles, but I kind of like that this paddle is so lightweight, since I'll be able to use it for longer periods of time without getting tired.

One thing that I don't like about this paddle is that it isn't laquered or finished in any way. According to some random instructional video I watched on Spanking Tube, a wooden paddle without a finish is much more likely to splinter, and if you manage to break skin and get blood on it (or sex fluids too, I guess) you won't be able to use it on anyone else since the liquid might have sunk into the wood. (Anyone care to confirm this for me?)

I used this paddle on myself, to carry out a task Sir set me. He had me lay naked in bed, fantasize for 25 minutes, and give myself 5 whacks at every 5 minute interval. Compared to my crops and my hairbrush, the paddle was easiest to wield (easier than the crops, as easy as the hairbrush) and made the loudest noise: a loud crack. I can see some people liking this, but for me it wasn't a positive thing since I have roommates and don't really want them hearing questionable noises (good thing the walls are thick).

So this is a pretty nice paddle. However, after trying this out, along with two crops, I don't think I'd bother buying BDSM equipment unless it's exceedingly well made, or handmade, and I actually have the cash to shell out for it. Why? Well... because it's easy enough to find random household items that work as well, or better than, this paddle, including but not limited to:

- wooden hairbrush I picked up at a CVS

- large craft ruler

- the flat handle of a letter opener

- wooden cooking spoon

However, if you want to own an actual paddle, this would be a convenient and affordable option.

Price @ Sextoy.com: $6.25

sex toys | BDSM gear

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