chick with a dick « Heartbreak Nymphomania

20Aug/101

Review: Bend-Over Beginner Kit

As you well know, I'm quite the strap-on aficionado, so I was really interested in trying out the Bend Over Beginner kit. It comes with (almost) everything you need for strap-on sex, and the pieces are quality, too:

- Sportsheets Vibrating Velvet Harness
- Tantus Silk Small
- Tantus Silk Medium
- 2 O-rings of differing sizes

The only possible addition, or improvement, I could suggest, would be to include a good anal sex book, or DVD. And maybe a small bottle of water-based lube. Still, this is a pretty comprehensive collection of items to have if, as the name of the product suggests, you're a strap-on sex beginner.

I'm going to go through the parts of the kit one by one. Also, since the name of this product is the "Bend Over" kit, and the dildos are on the smaller side, I'm assuming this product is intended for anal sex, though I'm sure you could use it vaginally as well:

Tantus Silk Small

Upon looking at this dildo, I knew it wasn't going to do much for me. In both my pussy and my ass, it just felt like a finger. I don't really see the point in spending money on a Silk Small when using my own fingers would have a similar effect. The one male partner I tried this with wasn't impressed, and said he could take more, even though I was one of the first people he'd tried anal play with.

On the plus side? The Silk Small is perfect for people who haven't had much anal experience, but crave the intimacy and intensity of being fucked by a strapped-on partner as opposed to being fingered. I could have seen myself using this on the Optimist, who loved having his butt played with, but was already overwhelmed even when I was only using two of my fingers on him. The Silk Small is, obviously, harness-compatible, is longer than my fingers and has a nice curve, so is probably perfect for seeking out a G-spot/prostate.

Tantus Silk Medium

The Silk Medium was more satisfactory. As it's thicker, I liked it in my ass a lot better, and actually liked using it in my pussy quite a bit, which was surprising due to it's small size. Again, the curve was key.

Overall, these two dildos are probably an excellent choice for someone with little to no experience with anal play. The dildos are smooth, simple, uncomplicated, and small. When I first experimented with anal sex, I was very interested and excited, but also pretty nervous. I don't see either of these dildos being intimidating to someone who might be a little nervous and insecure about trying something new.

To sterilize the Silks, you can wash them with 10% bleach solution, put them in the top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or boil them for at least 5 minutes. Also, silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubes.

Here are the Silks next to my go-to anal dildo, the Tantus Acute:

Sportsheets Vibrating Velvet Harness

The harness, like the dildos, is also very straightforward and easy to use. It has double-straps (that go under your butt as opposed to being worn like underwear) made of nylon, and remind me of backpack straps. You also adjust them the same way you would backpack straps. Very easy. You can also wash the entire thing by throwing it in the laundry. The first harness I ever owned was the Aslan Jaguar, and while it's gorgeous, I wasn't quite sure how to take care of the leather. The Velvet Harness is definitely lower maintenance.

In addition to being easy to use, the harness is pretty versatile. It has a pocket where you can insert a bullet vibe (I opted to insert the Lelo Mia, which fit pretty well, except for the base protruding out of it). You can swap out different sized O-rings with four snap closures on the front of the harness. The harness can also fit people whose hips are up to 50". If you're a smaller person, like me, and don't like the straps trailing behind you, you can always trim them and use a lighter to melt the edges and prevent them from fraying.

Personally, I don't really like the harness that much because it's a little bulky, and doesn't fit my body as seamlessly as the other harnesses I own. Ideally, when I wear a harness, I want to feel like it #1 isn't there, or #2 is an extension of my body. I don't feel like that when I wear the Velvet harness; this harness feels like I'm strapping on a piece of material, that is sitting conspicuously on top of my cunt, and acting as the base for a dildo. I also don't feel very connected to my cock anymore, since the triangular piece of velvety material is quite thick. Finally, I don't find the fuzzy material particularly sensual. I got the purple set, but I think the kit also comes in black. I would've liked that color better than the bright purple, too.

So that's the Bend Over Beginner kit. I ended up giving all the pieces of this kit away, since none of them really worked for me. However, I'm glad this kit exists and I see it being a good purchase for someone who's just beginning to explore the awesome spectrum of anal play.

Filed under: chick with a dick, dildos, misc, sex toy review, sex toys, the Optimist 1 Comment

13May/109

HNT: Bulge

Last night, Zeta Mu (the co-ed frat I'm a member of) had their termly runway-like show, where people can sign up to perform. Most of these performances end up being sexual or with people dancing and stripping. The event is open to campus, but taking pictures and jeering, etc, will get you kicked out.

I'm going to blog about the event itself in a later post, since I did a pretty epic act with a gorgeous girl... this post is dedicated to packing.

I went to the event with my Mistress strapped on under a pair of black shorts. It felt awesome. The harness rested just over my clit, and the folded up dildo provided delicious pressure. Even more than that, though, I loved the feeling of having a cock and walking around basically looking like I had an erection. A couple of my friends who knew I was packing kept touching my crotch. I thought I'd feel violated by it, but I actually kind of liked it...

After the show was done, there was some dancing, and I took off my shorts and let it all hang out for a while. It was so freeing to walk around like that without anyone acting like it was anything out of the ordinary.

HHNT!

Filed under: HNT, Uncategorized, chick with a dick 9 Comments

4May/101

Review: Vixen Creations Mistress

I have two categories for my dildoes. Sometimes the dildo doesn't fall into either category, and I think it's lame. Sometimes the dildo falls in both categories, which is pretty sweet. But, basically, the two categories are: #1 dildoes I want to fuck myself with, and #2 dildoes I want to fuck other people with.

The Vixen Creations Mistress falls very much into the second category. Ever since I saw it in sex toy reviews or sex toy stores, my thought on it was: I must strap that cock on ASAP!

I mean, first of all, look at that lovely, bright shade of turquoise. I've also seen pictures of the Mistress in other alluring colors, such as orange and sparkly-clear, but (un?)fortunately Pinkcherry.com doesn't carry those options. And then there's its minimally realistic appearance, i.e. it has a head and a shaft, but otherwise straddles the line between realistic and non-realistic. And then the name: Mistress. Sexy without being cheesy.

I felt just as strongly that the Mistress belonged on my crotch when I put it to the test. Its slim & modest size made sense on my small body. Also, the first time I watched a queer porno and saw the actress continually palming and fondling her strap-on even when a scene wasn't happening, I didn't get it. When I strapped on the Mistress? I got it. I couldn't stop touching the damn thing. And I really wanted to put it in someone's mouth.

For the purpose of this review, I tried the Mistress out on myself. It was definitely nice - the head bumped against my g-spot - but it was nothing mindblowing. It's quite thin and a little on the short side, so if you're a size queen it probably won't do much for you. The head is not very pronounced. It's also pretty soft and floppy. The modest size made it quite ideal for anal use, but due to the floppiness, thrusting was more difficult and my hand ended up getting tired. I can also see the floppiness making it difficult to strap on and fuck someone with this dildo.

The Mistress has a hole in the base for a bullet vibe. (There's another version of the Mistress available that doesn't have a hole in the base.) The hole is very deep - it extends to the dildo's mid-point. That makes the bottom half of the dildo even floppier. The "depth" of the hole can be useful, though, since you can insert the provided watch bullet all the way in, not with the cap hanging out like most dildoes, and wear it with the bullet in for added stimulation. I felt more vibrations when wearing it than when using it on myself, though. The provided bullet comes with a retrieval cord, but you can also squeeze the middle of the dildo to pop the bullet out. Putting lube on the bullet also makes insertion and retrieval easier.

The Mistress is made of silicone, which is body-safe and non-porous, and can be shared after being sterilized. To sterilize it, you can wash it with 10% bleach solution, put it in the top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or boil it for at least 5 minutes. Also, silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubes. The Mistress also comes in the typical Vixen Creations plastic tube, which can be a nice storage unit.

The Mistress may not be everyone's cup of tea, but despite its drawbacks, I really like it as a strap-on dildo.

Specs:
- Length: 6 3/4"
- Width: 1 1/4" (at widest)
- Price @ Pinkcherry.com: $49.99

Filed under: chick with a dick, dildos, sex toy review, sex toys 1 Comment

20Dec/095

Review: Bend Over Boyfriend

I was looking forward to reviewing Carol Queen's Bend Over Boyfriend DVD from Babeland.com both because of my interest in strap-on sex, and because I've been interested in seeing more of Carol Queen's work.

Bend Over Boyfriend is a part instructional, part erotic DVD that was released in 1998. (A follow-up DVD was released after, with more focus on the erotic.) It was a bestseller when it first came out, during a time period where (I'm under the impression that) not many resources related to sexuality were readily available. Carol and her partner Dr. Robert Morgan spend 30 minutes talking about why people find pegging sexy and how to do it right, and then spend the next 30 minutes giving us a live demo. Interspersed with Carol and Robert's material is footage of two couples, first sitting attentively and watching their own copies of BOB, then trying out the techniques themselves.

Carol and Robert clearly know their stuff. First, they each talk about why a person would find pegging hot, and what they would potentially take away from the experience. Then they delve further into some of its mechanics (which are applicable to couples of any gender combination, but are aimed at opposite sex couples here):

- Common myths about anal sex

- Communication with your partner and why its important

- The prostate gland and how to play with it

- Cleanliness and safety

- Foreplay and prepping (for both the pegger and the... peggee?)

- Choosing lubes, butt toys (plugs, etc), dildoes and harnesses

I know most of the material already, since I've come across it in other writings about anal sex and BDSM, but they go into amazing detail, and I really appreciate that. Their presentation, though, leaves much to be desired. The video quality isn't very good, and at times the camera isn't even in focus (!!!). (The video was independently produced, which might have something to do with it.) Carol and Robert don't really do anything except look directly into the camera and talk. I felt like I was watching a sex-ed video, or was being lectured at by two professors, not unlike those at my college classes:

carolandrobert

Carol attempts to change things up interspersing their dialogue with scenes of the couples watching the video, interacting with each other, and prepping each other for sex. This doesn't really help break the monotony, and actually ends up being distracting. I mean, first off, there are a few idiosyncracies from the 90s that I couldn't not notice:

Wha?

And then there's the weird pink or green tint that randomly appears:

pink

Not to mention this babe dressed in nothing but a doctor's coat who pops up every now and then to feed us cheesy one-liners like "A finger a day keeps the doctor away! *WINK*":

???

And, finally, it's just plain distracting to watch people flirt, lick and get fingered, when I'm trying to listen and pay attention to whether I can use oil-based lube with a silicone dildo or not.

Besides those little snatches of erotic scenes, the action doesn't really start until halfway through the DVD. Rapt attention is paid to safe sex in all of the scenes - no one is rimmed, fingered, or fucked without latex gloves, condoms, or cling film (did they not have dental dams back then?). Again, all the scenes are all interspersed with each other. I really would have preferred watching them one by one.

Anyway, first Carol straps on and fucks Robert while he's bent over. It was an interesting scene for me to watch, because Carol and Robert are quite a bit older than me, and when I'm watching porn I don't usually look for people in their age group. The scene didn't make me feel uncomfortable or anything, it was just... interesting. Carol and Robert have wonderful chemistry and obviously get very into the scene. Carol makes sure to keep checking how Robert is doing, and Robert assents breathlessly at things he enjoys. They both reach explosive orgasms at the end. It's very authentic, and their passion made me smile.

carolandrobertfucking

And then the two couples, who I creatively dub Couple #1 and Couple #2. I don't think any of them are very experienced with acting in porn. The little dialogue they have sounds contrived, and the sex scenes are awkward at times. But there's something charming about how they aren't pornstars. Since this DVD is aimed at the average Joe, and its message is that anal sex isn't just some crazy thing you see in porn - that anyone can do it - it's kind of appropriate that the actors don't look like they just walked off of a centerfold. That said, I am as superficial as the next person, and certain things about the actors did get in the way of my enjoyment of the scenes.

I wasn't a big fan of Couple #1. I didn't find either of them particularly attractive, and Guy #1 just plain annoyed me. He looks bored the entire time, whether he's watching the video, or watching his girlfriend get naked and try on a strap-on, even when he gets fucked hard up the ass. The height of his excitement is when he says: "oh. Oh yeah." Girl #2 is cute and giggly and a little awkward - quite endearing - but Guy #1's lack of emotion basically ruined the scene for me. I can't even remember much about it now, except that they switch positions a few times, and Guy #1 tells Girl #1 what he wants her to do.

Bored...

Slightly less bored

On the other hand, I really liked Couple #2. Girl #2 is butchyfemmeish and curvy and tasty, and I found Guy #2 so attractive. I think it was the combination of his long hair, slim body, nice ass and air of ambiguous sexual orientation mixed with a healthy dash of expressive sexuality that did it. He's easily the most natural out of the four. He moans and asks for more, and at one point gets on top of Girl #2, grinding himself down on her strap-on and flinging his hair back in rapture. He also plays more with Girl #2's strap on, rubbing against it and giving her a blowjob (yum). They also seem more engaged with each other than couple #1: they look at each other, smile at each other, and seem to be enjoying themselves a great deal. Girl #2 kind of loses interest as the scene wears on, but Guy #2 more than makes up for it. Eventually, Guy #2 comes all over Girl #2's tits.

couple2b

couple2c

I really would have liked to see the girls orgasm or get more obvious pleasure out of it, especially since Carol made sure to accentuate that women can get pleasure from pegging as well as the men.

Pegging is already sold on me, so I wouldn't recommend using this DVD as a way to try and convince your lover(s) to try it out with you. Carol and Robert delve very thoroughly into all aspects of anal sex with little or no fluffing. Some would say they're a little bit too thorough. (Did you know anal sex is actually good for hemorrhoids because it increases the blood flow in the rectal area? Or that vegetable shortenings can be used as lube, but smell really bad if you leave a stain?) If you and your partner(s) already want to try it, or if you just want to educate yourself, then go for it.

Personally, I'm happy that I watched it, but would prefer to find something more current. Maybe another one of Tristan Taormino's guides, for instance.

Specs:
- Type: Instructional / porn
- Length: 60 minutes
- Release date: 1998
- Directed by: Carol Queen
- Featuring: Carol Queen and Robert Morgan
- Price @ Babeland.com: $34.95

Three hearts out of five.

Filed under: anal play, chick with a dick, porn, sex toy review 5 Comments

13Sep/092

Lessons Learned (1/2)

Btw, a big thank you to Champagne and Benzedrine for putting my last HNT on his sexiest posts list

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[via bendoverboyfriend]

Lesson #1: The Actor

For once, height difference does matter.

His long legs are draped loosely over your shoulders as you try and push into him, but you can't get enough leverage. If you could just actually raise yourself up a little... but then you'd be on your feet, and how uncomfortable would that be? Still, the impulse to get on your feet and fuck him with your whole body is almost instinctive.

(More than anything else, you wish you could feel; not just because it would make everything so much hotter, but because you want to be able to tell what the hell is going on down there.)

You're pushing forward but you don't feel like you're moving at all; and still he asks you to move "slower, slower."

Finally you feel the head pop in - a sudden release of pressure - and then:

"Wait. Hold still," he says -

"OK. Go."

"More lube."

"You can move faster now."

"More lube."

- and after you've managed to hit a brisk rhythm, you have to keep pulling out to lube yourself back up, and the same dance starts all over again.

Soon you learn to make up for the lack of nerve endings in your silicone prick by using your thumb & fingers: holding your cock in your hand, feeling the place where his entrance is with your thumb, and then guiding yourself forward.

(The smooth act of penetrating someone else - the gasps and swiftly shifting facial expressions - is almost addictive.)

After you're done, you look at the splotches of lube on your harness and make a mental note to look up how to properly take care of leather.

Filed under: Erotica, anal play, chick with a dick, journal, kinda sorta awk, sex, the Actor, x-posted 2 Comments

11Sep/0924

HNT: Exposed

IMG_7143b

[Photo taken by Sylvanus]

hhnt...

Filed under: HNT, Uncategorized, chick with a dick 24 Comments

10Jul/0912

HNT: Lady

DSCN3293

This is what I like to call goth-lite.

DSCN3300

DSCN3303

DSCN3307

Also, meet my new cock. The Tantus Echo, in peacock, and I think he's gorgeous.

HHNT!

Filed under: HNT, Uncategorized, chick with a dick 12 Comments

19May/094

Review: Tantus Feeldoe Original

Reviewing the Tantus Feeldoe Original from Pinkcherry.com sex toys! Originally I was supposed to use it on the Actor when he came to visit me but we... didn't manage, for one reason or another. Hence this review isn't as complete as it could be, but I'll post a follow up review when I'm able to.

[Click for video review]

* A couple things I forgot to mention: it's designed by women, for women, specifically to fit the contours of the female body, which is full of win; but men can (supposedly?) use it by inserting the bulb anally for some hot double-penetration action, or if you... can't get it up, I guess? The bulb also doubles up as a nice handle.

This was my first video review so I sound really monotonous! But I do like the Feeldoe a lot, the head and the slight curve feel great

Addendum [06/21/09] :

So I'm visiting the Actor right now and it's making for a lot of fun, wonderfulness and sexytimes. We finally got to using the Feeldoe together! Obviously using the Feeldoe with someone else was much different from using it alone. I'll talk about the Actor's experience with it first and then move on to my own perspective.

The Actor regularly has anal sex and is pretty experienced. He found the size of the shaft to be fine, but he didn't like how it was angled slightly upwards. The vibrations were pleasant, but not really a big deal. The biggest problem with the Feeldoe's shaft was its head - or lack thereof. I never really noticed before the Actor pointed it out, but the head of the Feeldoe is quite small/narrow compared to the head of a penis. When I used the Feeldoe vaginally on myself, that was actually a bit of a plus. With other dildos I've used, the feeling of the bulbous head popping in has always been intense - sometimes in an awesome, pleasurable way, but at other times uncomfortably so. It's definitely a plus to have a dildo in my arsenal that has less of a head, since sometimes I'm in the mood for a dildo that smoothly slides into me. While I was fucking the Actor with it, however, the lack of a head was irritating because the dildo kept sliding out of him. Since I obviously couldn't feel how far I was pulling out while thrusting, feeling the "catch" of a head when I was about to pull out would have been really useful.

For me, the Feeldoe was both an improvement on your typical strapon harness + dildo, as well as a regression. The "straplessness" of the Feeldoe generally worked quite well: the bulb didn't fall out during sex, and the strapon didn't get jostled out of place at all. However, using the Feeldoe made thrusting a lot more difficult, and I found that using a harness gave me a lot more control. Using a harness also meant that the ridges were pressed up against my clit at least 80% of the time, when without a harness the ridges were hardly pressed close to my body at all. Having the ridges against my clit was a huge plus because I could feel the vibrations. Vibrations against my clit while thrusting into someone is a pretty addicting feeling, let me tell you. The bulb, on the other hand, I pretty much forgot was there; it didn't really add or take away from the experience.

So, overall, I'd say the Feeldoe isn't mindblowing, but as a strapless-strapon it works pretty well and I'm glad that I own it purely because of the dual-stimulation function. It doesn't feel like "my" cock when I wear it though, so generally I'll prbably eschew the Feeldoe for more traditional strapons and get off in other ways

4/5 stars.

Filed under: anal play, chick with a dick, dildos, sex, sex toy review, sex toys, the Actor, wanking 4 Comments

15May/090

The Stage: Act 1

More about my fraternity Every term, we have a "big weekend" where there are a ton of parties, events, fun activities; alums come up to visit; it gives everyone an excuse to drink (like we need another one?). A few days before each "big weekend", my frat does a runway show of sorts where people get onstage and strip, dance, perform... Anyone can participate, it's an event that's open to campus, and no pictures are allowed to be taken. It may sound kind of strange, but it can be a really fun, liberating experience.

Here's my (first) performance.

[Press play.]

You're backstage, and you're crinkling with nerves and sparkling with excitement as you watch the performances. The room is packed and everyone is shouting, cheering. You're in a black, lacy miniskirt and bright red stiletto pumps, with the remnants of red lipstick on your lips.

And then your names are announced. It's your turn to take the stage.

You walk onto one side of the narrow, T-shaped platform with K, while the other pair you're performing with takes the opposite side. Whatever nervousness you were feeling melts away in the spotlight. You and K face each other, and you run your hands from his shoulders down his body.

"Shall I take your shirt off?" he asks over the music, you nod, and your black tank top comes over your head, to rowdy cheers from the audience. Then he simultaneously unzips your skirt, and releases your cock from where it's uncomfortably tied to your thigh, and you're suddenly standing in nothing but your heels, lacy underwear, and strap-on.

The other couple is probably doing the same - the boy dropping the girl's black slacks to expose her bright red cock - but you really can't pay attention to anything else besides the mesmerizing sight of K getting on his knees in front of you and putting your cock in his mouth.

You put your hand behind his head and hold him there, watching him worship you, wishing you could see more, feel more... The other girl sinks down into the chair behind her and you mirror her actions, pulling K in between your legs and pushing his head into your lap, arching your back.

All too soon, the song is over and K is standing up. You undo one of the buckles of your harness and step out of it before you walk off, perfectionistic to the last, not wanting the audience to witness the undignity of your cock bobbing as you walk.

Backstage, K gives your discarded clothes back to you and, over the applause of the crowd, says "That was awesome!"

You just smile.

Filed under: Erotica, Gender, K, Queer, chick with a dick, frat life, journal No Comments

7May/0924

HNT: Cock

dscn3101

Almost a year ago now (!), the Actor wanted me to fuck him with a strap-on. So he offered to buy me one. We cheerfully bounced onto Babeland.com and he ordered me the awesome Jaguar harness + Leo dildo set.

I only had strap-on sex with him once before he left. It took a while to happen. We were both nervous, I hadn't quite gotten the hang of all the thrusting, and at one point his roommate drunkenly walked in and we both were forced to dive under the blankets in the dark in a very undignified manner.

When he left, he took the Leo with him (!) and managed to lose the harness after going through my stored boxes to retrieve something of his. Sigh. I was incredibly frustrated when I realized it was gone. I asked him to give me the Leo back once, only to hear back in response:

Him: No, me and my boyfriend use it.

Me: But you already have two penises between you! What do you do with an extra one?!

Him: Well... we use it. We call it 'Barney.'

Me: *shudder*

Anyway, he eventually impulsively bought me another set right before he came to visit. So I'm content again, hehe.

dscn3100

How can I best describe how it feels to wear a cock, and why I wanted one so badly for so long? It definitely doesn't have anything to do with wanting to be male, or wanting to have a cock all the time. (Although I do still want to adopt 'pieces' of masculinity.) I definitely don't feel any need to wear a packing cock, for example. But I've wanted to be able to penetrate my partners; fuck them with a cock, my cock. Certain 'male' fucking behaviors came somewhat naturally to me, I think. During trysts with... various partners, of varying genders, I couldn't help but spread their legs apart, kneel in between them, and rub myself against them. Grind up against them from behind. Fingerfuck boys until they're gasping. I wanted to be able to have a penis, and then not have one again when I didn't feel like it anymore. So, obviously, a strap-on was perfect.

So it definitely is a sexual desire. But it's not just the desire to penetrate - wearing a cock gives me pleasure as well. I like the way it makes me feel about myself. The first time I strapped the Leo on, and when I finished fucking the Actor, and lay back with the Leo standing proud and constantly-erect, I felt an instant rush of confidence. It's kind of hard to explain.

The Leo probably also marks the first time I ever understood why someone would want their strap-on sucked. When I first took it out of it's container, it felt so smooth and perfectly textured in my hands that I almost wanted to suck on it myself Imagining a beautiful person on their knees in front of me, my cock slipping in and out between their lips... omg.

I also know that not just any cock can feel like 'my' cock. I don't want one that looks absolutely realistic, for example, but neither can it be purely abstract and impossible. In that sense, the Leo is a perfect balance - it's elegant, pretty, but thick and undoubtedly penis-like, without the veins, the balls and the skin-tone. I don't want one that stimulates me at the same time, which is why something like the Tantus Feeldoe or harnesses with slots for vibes would be exceptions, or special, but never consistent, never mine. When I'm wearing a strap-on, I want to be the one giving the pleasure, and I don't want anything to distract from that. Except maybe the pressure of dildo's base against my clit...

I haven't tried this new cock on anyone yet, sadly, but hope I will soon.

HHNT!

Filed under: Gender, HNT, Queer, chick with a dick, genderfuck, queer identity, reflections, the Actor 24 Comments

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Wilhelmina Wang. Queer, female college student with her mind lodged firmly in the gutter, seeking genderbenders, lessons in BDSM, a meaningful fuck, and a point in life.

Here's where her mind is spilled like the proverbial guts.

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