Heartbreak Nymphomania
20Aug/101

Review: Bend-Over Beginner Kit

As you well know, I'm quite the strap-on aficionado, so I was really interested in trying out the Bend Over Beginner kit. It comes with (almost) everything you need for strap-on sex, and the pieces are quality, too:

- Sportsheets Vibrating Velvet Harness
- Tantus Silk Small
- Tantus Silk Medium
- 2 O-rings of differing sizes

The only possible addition, or improvement, I could suggest, would be to include a good anal sex book, or DVD. And maybe a small bottle of water-based lube. Still, this is a pretty comprehensive collection of items to have if, as the name of the product suggests, you're a strap-on sex beginner.

I'm going to go through the parts of the kit one by one. Also, since the name of this product is the "Bend Over" kit, and the dildos are on the smaller side, I'm assuming this product is intended for anal sex, though I'm sure you could use it vaginally as well:

Tantus Silk Small

Upon looking at this dildo, I knew it wasn't going to do much for me. In both my pussy and my ass, it just felt like a finger. I don't really see the point in spending money on a Silk Small when using my own fingers would have a similar effect. The one male partner I tried this with wasn't impressed, and said he could take more, even though I was one of the first people he'd tried anal play with.

On the plus side? The Silk Small is perfect for people who haven't had much anal experience, but crave the intimacy and intensity of being fucked by a strapped-on partner as opposed to being fingered. I could have seen myself using this on the Optimist, who loved having his butt played with, but was already overwhelmed even when I was only using two of my fingers on him. The Silk Small is, obviously, harness-compatible, is longer than my fingers and has a nice curve, so is probably perfect for seeking out a G-spot/prostate.

Tantus Silk Medium

The Silk Medium was more satisfactory. As it's thicker, I liked it in my ass a lot better, and actually liked using it in my pussy quite a bit, which was surprising due to it's small size. Again, the curve was key.

Overall, these two dildos are probably an excellent choice for someone with little to no experience with anal play. The dildos are smooth, simple, uncomplicated, and small. When I first experimented with anal sex, I was very interested and excited, but also pretty nervous. I don't see either of these dildos being intimidating to someone who might be a little nervous and insecure about trying something new.

To sterilize the Silks, you can wash them with 10% bleach solution, put them in the top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or boil them for at least 5 minutes. Also, silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubes.

Here are the Silks next to my go-to anal dildo, the Tantus Acute:

Sportsheets Vibrating Velvet Harness

The harness, like the dildos, is also very straightforward and easy to use. It has double-straps (that go under your butt as opposed to being worn like underwear) made of nylon, and remind me of backpack straps. You also adjust them the same way you would backpack straps. Very easy. You can also wash the entire thing by throwing it in the laundry. The first harness I ever owned was the Aslan Jaguar, and while it's gorgeous, I wasn't quite sure how to take care of the leather. The Velvet Harness is definitely lower maintenance.

In addition to being easy to use, the harness is pretty versatile. It has a pocket where you can insert a bullet vibe (I opted to insert the Lelo Mia, which fit pretty well, except for the base protruding out of it). You can swap out different sized O-rings with four snap closures on the front of the harness. The harness can also fit people whose hips are up to 50". If you're a smaller person, like me, and don't like the straps trailing behind you, you can always trim them and use a lighter to melt the edges and prevent them from fraying.

Personally, I don't really like the harness that much because it's a little bulky, and doesn't fit my body as seamlessly as the other harnesses I own. Ideally, when I wear a harness, I want to feel like it #1 isn't there, or #2 is an extension of my body. I don't feel like that when I wear the Velvet harness; this harness feels like I'm strapping on a piece of material, that is sitting conspicuously on top of my cunt, and acting as the base for a dildo. I also don't feel very connected to my cock anymore, since the triangular piece of velvety material is quite thick. Finally, I don't find the fuzzy material particularly sensual. I got the purple set, but I think the kit also comes in black. I would've liked that color better than the bright purple, too.

So that's the Bend Over Beginner kit. I ended up giving all the pieces of this kit away, since none of them really worked for me. However, I'm glad this kit exists and I see it being a good purchase for someone who's just beginning to explore the awesome spectrum of anal play.

13Aug/102

Review: Nobessence Romp

There aren't many sex toys that make me feel like writing love letters, so I figure that, if one does, I should ride the inspiration. That said, here is an open letter to the Romp. Creepy? Cheesy? You decide:

Dear Romp,

I just want to let you know that I'm completely and utterly in love, and I don't ever want you to leave. I heard so many good things about you before we met; that you were a real catch. Sure, I thought at first, but maybe you wouldn't be right for me... I abandoned that train of thought when I first saw you, and my cunt instantly flooded because of how good you looked. I was enraptured by your glossy sheen and exquisite Cocobolo wood. Even your presentation in a padded box was pleasing to me.

I wanted you in my ass right away. It's a good thing I had experienced smaller plugs and anal play before, because I didn't have the patience for much warm-up. This is when I figured out the benefits of your unique - and, I admit, what I found initially odd - shape. Your handle fit my fingers perfectly, and I could easily tilt and turn you to the degree that pleased me most, once you were inside me.

When you first slid in, your tip went in easily, and I had some trouble with the bulge, but when you were finally in? You were the perfect fit for my ass. You didn't just fill me: it felt like every dip and curve hugged my ass at just the right spot, like you were meant to be there. Your narrow handle settled comfortably between my cheeks, and I could sit down and walk around with no discomfort. Your tip pressed tantalizingly against my vagina - sometimes against my g-spot - so that every motion with you in felt like foreplay.

So, alright - your hard exterior was a little difficult to swallow at first, and you're quite the expensive date - but I'm so glad I gave you a chance, because everything about you delights me. You don't just fill me up, like many other plugs can do; it's like you were made to inhabit me.

Love,

Wilhelmina

I can't wait to try more Nobessence toys.

Cleaning instructions: Unlike silicone toys, which can be boiled or dish-washed, since the Romp is made of wood with a varnish finish, you should clean it with 10% bleach solution instead, to sterilize it (before sharing).

Thanks, Kama Sutra Closet!

5Aug/102

Review: Heart 2 Heart Cuffs

The Heart 2 Heart Cuffs encapsulate three things that, IMHO, are essential for a set of cuffs: they're affordable ($35), pretty, and well-made. In fact, I'm so taken with them that I want to try and collect the whole set: another pair of cuffs, blindfold, and whip, which have the added charm of being decorated with rows of tiny red hearts, which make me think of the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland (for me, a good thing).

The cuffs are fairly simple. To my understanding, from reading the packaging and the product description, they're made of real leather, though shinier and more towards the patent-leather type. The leather is soft and pliable. None of that tacky, stiff, unpleasant bullshit that comes with shitty or fake leather. They also come with shiny silver buckles, studs and D-rings. The best part? They're black and red. Which is my favorite color combination (um, just check out the theme of this blog). Now I have cuffs that match my lingerie! Yay!

The cuffs aren't lined, but they're comfortable, and I can strain against them without any chafing. I also couldn't tease the buckle undone with my fingers, even with the cuffs connected together with a carabiner. Fairly escape-proof.

I'm very happy with these cuffs - as functional and wonderful as the Sportsheets Under the Bed cuffs are, it's nice to have something prettier and a little more heavy duty. I only have a few criticisms:

#1 The set doesn't come with any kind of connector. They're cheap enough that I'm sure it wouldn't kill the company to include one. I don't own any, so I had to steal a carabiner off of one of my roommates' Nalgenes.

#2 The cuffs don't look like they'd fit people with thicker wrists/ankles. My wrists are tiny, and I already use the fourth hole. I honestly doubt that anyone has wrists so bony that they'd need to use the first or second hole.

#3 If you look at the underside of the cuff, the line of holes is accompanied with a long cut of some sort, that goes down the length of all the holes. It's not that big of a deal, and the cuff doesn't threaten to rip apart or anything like that. It is a little ugly to look at, though.

#4 I just cannot back putting "2" in the name of a sex toy. I am not a teenager on AIM, and I don't want sex toys that make me feel like one.

There you have it. My BDSM toybox is growing, and the Heart 2 Heart Cuffs are a wonderful addition to it.

23Jul/100

Review: Ophoria Pleasure No. 6

It looks like a trend is forming... of me getting toys that look gorgeous, but functionally just don't fit my wants.

I've known about Ophoria for a while. I've wanted to try their products because they just look so pretty. The Ophoria Pleasure No. 6, which Fascinations sent me to review, definitely doesn't disappoint on that front. I like the soft shade of pink it comes in, and the swirls along the shaft. It almost looks like... a flower. The only thing that bothered me about its appearance was the seam, which isn't terribly conspicuous, but takes away a little from the overall elegant look.

The silicone it's made out of is plush, firm, and lovely to touch. It would be a great addition to my strap-on collection, and would make a nice, standard dildo to warm up to bigger, bumpier or curvier dildos. It even has a suction-cup base, and would be great to use anally since it's on the smaller and firmer side.

Unfortunately? I didn't enjoy using it because of one tiny detail: the bump just underneath the dildo's head. It's as irritating as hell. It doesn't feel sharp or painful, just... like a small, bumpy thing poking my vaginal walls. As I put the dildo inside me, my brow furrowed in mildly discomfited befuddlement. It was enough to distract me from the feeling of the dildo as a whole.

So, honestly, that's all I have to say about that. I don't really know why the bump is there, outside of being an overall design staple in this and some of their other products, like the Beyond No. 3. Maybe the bump feels pleasurable to some people?

Anyway, it's a shame, because in all other respects, the dildo is not earth-shattering, but definitely decent. I ended up giving it to one of my friends who was curious about experimenting with strap-on play, and she was quite happy to receive it.

To sterilize the Pleasure No. 6, you can wash it with 10% bleach solution, put it in the top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or boil it for at least 5 minutes. Also, silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubes.

13Jul/102

Review: Lelo Bob

When I first held the Lelo Bob in my hands, I knew we were not meant to be... because the toy had been mailed to me to use as a prize in a contest I was holding. Nevertheless, I had carefully snuck a peak into the box, and I liked what I saw. Much like Lelo's ad image for Bob, looking at it made me think I was carefully unwrapping an expensive, fragrant cigar. The Bob, despite its decidedly unclassy name, was sleek and gorgeous, and I knew I'd eventually want to try it out myself. Unfortunately, when I did, I realized that Bob's functionality wasn't quite as up to par with its attractive appearance.

As with all Lelo toys, Bob is presented beautifully, and comes with a satin drawstring bag and one-year warranty. It's also made of the smooth, hard silicone that is typical of Lelo.

Due to Bob's small size, I was able to slide it in very easily, and then... I could barely feel anything. I could feel it when I clenched around it. It felt very thin and unsubstantial. I don't even use large plugs regularly; my go-to plug is the njoy pure plug medium. While a beginner couldn't take the pure plug without using something smaller for a while first, it definitely isn't size-queen material either. Bob is very comfortable, definitely, but part of the point of wearing a plug, for me, is feeling it, if only a little bit.

On the other hand, there was a part of Bob I definitely could feel, lodged between my cheeks: the handle. I've read some reviews that criticized Bob's potentially unsafe base, and though I could definitely feel it, it also didn't seem enough to prevent the entire toy potentially slipping into my ass, especially when I was sitting down. I was paranoid about the Bob being pushed in somehow, since the handle is round rather than phlanged and it seems like it could be pushed in with a little force, especially if you've used larger objects in your ass.

Bob, while usable by people of any gender, is essentially designed for people with a prostate, and I was fortunate enough to try it on L. He had it in while we 69ed, and here the handle was a plus. I very much enjoyed putting my finger through the loop and pulling it in and out slightly while I blew him. Afterwards, he told me that he could also feel the handle very obviously, and that the plug felt more noticeable in his butt (than, say, the Bootie), probably due to the plug's length. He didn't see himself wearing it for long periods of time, but definitely liked fucking me with it in.

As for cleaning: Bob is made of silicone, which is body-safe and non-porous, and can be shared after being sterilized. To sterilize the plug, you can wash it with 10% bleach solution, put it in the top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or boil it for at least 5 minutes. Also, silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubes.

So, my verdict? Bob, while quite the looker, was just not for me, although I can see plenty of people, most probably anal beginners, enjoying it.

Specs:
- Type: Anal Plug
- Material: Silicone
- Length: 3.75"
- Width: 1.25"
- Colors: Bordeaux / Deep Blue
- Price @ Vibrator.com: $45

10Jun/100

Contest: Woodgasm!

Epiphora is giving away a Nobessence product to a lucky individual! Here's how and when you can enter, according to her giveaway entry. If you want to enter, head over to her blog, Hey Epiphora!

The winner of this giveaway will get to choose whichever NobEssence toy they want from SheVibe — butt plug, dildo, cock ring, kegel exerciser, whichever they most desire. And this giveaway is open to my international readers!* Beautiful, yes?

Twitter trivia parties!

The most exciting way to enter this giveaway will be to attend one or both of the two Twitter parties I’ll be holding. YEAH, I’M GOING THERE. Com’n, it’ll be fun! We’ll use the hashtag #woodgasm, chat about sex toys, and each participant will earn an entry into the giveaway just for participating. I’ll also be asking trivia questions, and party-goers who are quickest to correctly answer these questions will get extra entries.

Party #1: Saturday, June 12th, 2010, 3 p.m. — 4 p.m. PST. (what time for you?)
Party #2: Wednesday, June 16th, 2010, 6 p.m. — 7 p.m. PST. (what time for you?)

Be sure to follow me on Twitter beforehand! Also, in preparation for the trivia questions, here are some study materials:

Other ways to enter

Oh yes, there are always more…

  • 5 entries: Write a blog post about this giveaway. Use my graphic, just host it yourself. Be sure to mention the Twitter parties!
  • 3 entries: Comment on this post telling me which NobEssence piece you want the most and why.
  • 3 entries: Subscribe to my RSS feed or subscribe via email.

Deadline: June 20th, 2010 at 11:59 p.m. PST.

* Fine print: This giveaway is open to everyone everywhere, but if you live outside the U.S., you will need to pay any customs taxes or tariffs levied by your country. Winner will be selected randomly from a list of entries.

1Jun/102

Review: ID Millennium

ID is one of my favorite lube brands, and for good reason. Just like vodka quality is judged by "purity", so does it go with me and lubes. ID Millennium? Is as pure as a lube can be: it doesn't smell like anything, it doesn't taste like anything, and instead of sticky residue, it leaves behind a slick softness. Kind of like if you just rubbed moisturizer into your hands.

This lube works very well with anal play, and is very long lasting. You only really need a couple of drops, so even though the bottle I received is tiny (1oz), I've used it multiple times and I've barely even used any up. The tiny bottle is also perfectly travel-sized.

I've read that this lube doesn't wash off in water, which at times is a negative thing because it makes it more difficult to get off my hands/toys post-wank-sesh, but that's the only complaint I have about this lube.

That's really all I have to say about this lube. It works. Just remember not to use it with silicone toys, since it will fuck up the toy.

Specs:
- Material: Silicone
- Amounts: 1oz / 2.5oz / 4.9oz
- Prices @ PinkCherry.com:
$9.99 / $14.99 / $28.88

25May/103

Please, Sir (Virtual Book Tour)


If you ask me, submission is an art form. It requires dedication, focus, commitment and desire, and there’s no single way of doing it. It’s about unlocking something within yourself so you can reach beyond your normal limits, exposing your body and soul in order to go somewhere you cannot get to alone.

The lesson there, and in all of these stories, is that there is risk involved in submission. I don’t mean the physical risks, but the emotional ones, the ones that require a leap of faith, a knowledge that what you are doing may unnerve you, confuse you and scare you, even while it makes you wet and eager and ready for more.

[Excerpt from Introduction: Risk and Reward]

Rachel Kramer Bussel so wonderfully expresses one of the aspects of BDSM that draws me to it the most - and keeps me coming back.

Lately, I have been antsy. My workload has increased and I've spent hours and hours tutoring students. Last night, I came home and wanted nothing more than to abandon my mind and dedicate myself to something mechanical and pleasing to someone else. I ended up cooking, but the dish didn't come out right, and it didn't quite assuage the restlessness that I was feeling.

My lovers are vanilla at the moment, and I've no foreseeable possibility of a kinky encounter. Submissive energy has entered my fantasies, and my mind is plagued with cravings that I picture while I'm getting off:

---

The first fantasy is all about pain. He places me over his lap, lifts up my skirt, and yanks my panties down to my knees. He starts out with his hand - his hands are always large, with wide palms. I am not allowed to kick or move my legs. He wants them straight, flat against the couch, and slightly spread so that he can access me whenever the fancy strikes him. I curl my fingers into the upholstery; trying not to cry out, but feeling the noise welling in my throat regardless. After I've been thoroughly warmed up, he switches to the hairbrush. The hard wood results in a new, sharper pain, while waking up the duller pain left behind from the spanks with his hand.

A few minutes in, the tears come. My thoughts are filled with nothing but: pain, don't move, and why? Eventually he makes me stand up. My face is contorted and streaked with tears, which embarrasses me more than my recent position over his lap.

He gestures for me to bend over the back of his desk chair. Same rules: spread my legs, and keep them still. He finishes with several strokes from his belt. I hear the leather whistle through the air, and crack across my already sore flesh. This time, I scream.

He doesn't stop until my ass is blistered red and I can no longer control my sobs. He brushes his hand lightly over one cheek, which makes me flinch. I already know I'm dripping. He grabs my hips, thrusts into me without any preamble, and his hipbones press into my roasting flesh. As soon as he enters me, my orgasm rolls over me in a wave, but he keeps going.

I think to myself: I'm glad I didn't move my legs the entire time, like he wanted.

---

The next fantasy is about servitude. I picture myself living with someone who works hard every day and comes home tired. Before he comes home, I cook one of his favorite dishes. From scratch; an authentic recipe I learned and then added my own flair to. I serve the dinner and clean up; after dinner, we go to the bedroom and strip down. He lays down on the bed and I oil my hands, rubbing the tension out of his sore back and shoulders. I am naked because he likes the feeling of my breasts and cunt brushing against his body. Once he is relaxed, he rolls over and pulls me on top of him, entering me in one swift stroke.

---

The fantasy after that is about uncontrol. I'm spread-eagled and restrained on the bed, with my legs bent at the knee. He's fucking me with a toy that's designed to hit my G-spot, and it feels wonderful. He fucks me so hard and irresistibly that my orgasm hits me before I'm even aware that it's happening; and he continues until I have another, and another, and my body is spent. I can barely move, or think...

---

The final fantasy is about possession. We're in bed, naked, in the dark, and he fists his hand in my hair, pulling my head down to worship his cock. I use my lips, throat and tongue to the best of my ability, shutting down my mind and letting his cock hit the back of my throat. I gag, once; a stream of spit surges out of my mouth and down his shaft. He pulls my head away and tells me he wants to finish in my ass. I position myself; face in the pillows, on my knees, ass and cunt in the air, presented to him. He fingers my ass until I'm moaning, and then pushes his slick cock into me easily. I moan, and whimper, his cock hitting something inside of me that makes me see stars. When he's done, I lay face down for a while, reveling in the feeling of being nothing but his object of pleasure; the receptacle for his come.

---

Please, Sir speaks to all of these fantasies of mine, and has definitely helped fan the fire of my submissive cravings.

Submission is so many things to me: trust, expression, abandon, servitude, skill. Above all, though, it's knowing that I'm pleasing my lover by giving myself over to him. One of my favorite stories from the anthology displays this perfectly:

Sometimes, a few hours after she has fallen asleep, Veronica feels her husband climb atop her, his cock hard and insistently throbbing against her thighs. She knows what to do. She spreads her legs, wide. As Vince buries his cock inside his wife, stretching her open, she moans drowsily. She doesn't have to move or groan or call out his name. She only has to allow herself to be used. It turns her on that in the dark of their bedroom, their bodies heavy with sleep, she is just a tight warm space from which her husband will extract her satisfaction.

...

Vince said, "I'm not looking for a maid. I'm not looking for a mother. I'm looking for a body. I also know how to appreciate that which I am allowed to take."

On their wedding night, Vince told Veronica that he didn't believe in punishment. He believed in discipline. Then he taught her the difference. For a long while, Vince stood behind his new wife, inhaling her scent, letting his hands memorize the contours of her body. She shivered. Vince smacked her ass, smiling as her skin rippled beneath his hand. A blush of red quickly appeared. He smacked Veronica's ass again, harder this time, his hand stinging as it rebounded. "Discipline," he said, "is a reminder."

...

Veronica looked up at Vince and saw unexpected kindness in his eyes. "Have I pleased you?" she asked. Vince reared back, holding the tip of his cock at the sensitive, quivering lips of her cunt. He squeezed Veronica's throat harder, and she wrapped one hand around his wrist. Vince thrust forward. Veronica cried out again, feeling a blade of pleasure so deeply, she thought her bod might split at the heart. Finally, he said, "Yes."

[Excerpt from Veronica's Body by Isabelle Grey]

You can order a copy of the book from Amazon.com.

20May/1017

Link Roundup: Eden Fantasys? More like Epic Fail

[Graphic by Juliettia]

I've never really been involved with EdenFantasys, but I thought it might be beneficial for my readers to know what has been going on with them, in case you shop or write there. You might want to reconsider doing so.

If anyone has other links you think I should include here, or if some of my information is inaccurate and you wish to correct me, please leave me a comment.

EdenFantasys History of Fail(s)

2008

- Sexblog giant Always Aroused Girl works on blogging & PR projects for EF, but is refused payment for her work, and so sues her employer and dukes it out in court, with little success.

- Another sexblog giant, Essin' Em, works on developing a reviewer program and bringing in new products to the site. Her employer gives her a hard time when she leaves an IM conversation with him to take care of a friend who was just beaten up by her husband, then berates her for not mentioning EF in an interview she gave which had nothing to do with the company, and doesn't pay her her affiliate commissions in a timely manner.

- EF agrees to sponsor the 2009 NYC Sexblog Calender, then backs out at the last minute.

- The Google Spreadsheet that contains reviewers' confidential information (full name, physical address, along with their blog name and URL) is made public due to an ex-employee's fuck up. EF claims that using Google Spreadsheets is not how they typically run their business, which Essin' Em points out to be a blatant lie.

2010

- That Toy Chick blogs about how she was also forced to legally fight for pay that was her right.

- Epiphora, one of the most prolific sextoy bloggers out there, is banned from EF's forums for no apparent reason. EF says that she was banned for "drama, rudeness and overall negativity", but it appears that she was banned merely for stating her honest opinion. She was banned without being contacted about it first, without any of her posts being flagged, and EF goes on to publicly humiliate her in their forums under the guise of "being transparent." One contributor decides to leave EF for good over this issue, and a whole bunch of posts are written in Epiphora's support:

~ Essin' Em: EdenFantasys, Not a Place I Trust

~ AAG: Problems with EdenFantasys, Take Nine Thousand

~ Garnet: A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

~ Sarah Sloane, who used to be on the editorial staff of EF's SexIs magazine: Money, ethics and real sex-positivity

~ Britni: Bad Move, EdenFantasys

~ Carnivalesq: EdenFallacys

~ The Blogging Slave: EdenFantasys.com Debacle

~ Toys in Love: When Push comes to Shove...

~ Woman's Tribune: Eden Fantasys, A Sex Shop No One Can Trust

~ Erosblog: Edenfantasys.com Shoots Itself in the Balls... Again

- Maymay, who runs Maybe Maimed, Kink on Tap and Male Submission Art, and who also happens to be a professional computer programmer, discovers that EF's linking practices are unethical. (This post has been cross-posted here, here, here, here and here, and Maymay is encouraging people to re-post the entire entry, or excerpts of it, in case he gets a Cease and Desist notice.) Basically, EF pretends to link back to its reviewers, contributors, people who they've done link-exchanges with, even companies whose products they sell... but they actually don't. The links don't work. This prevents others from getting traffic from all of EF's sites, and ensures that EF will appear higher in Google search results. Google specifically points out that behavior like this is unethical. In his post, Maymay also outlines actions you can take in response to this. You can report EF to Google here.

Internet sex toy retailer Web Merchants, Inc., which bills itself as the “sex shop you can trust” and does business under the name EdenFantasys, has implemented technology on their websites that actively interferes with contributors’ content, intercepts outgoing links, and alters republished content so that links in the original work are redirected to themselves. Using techniques widely acknowledged as unethical by Internet professionals and that are arguably in violation of major search engines’ policies, EdenFantasys’s publishing platform has effectively outsourced the task of “link farming” (a questionable Search Engine Marketing [SEM] technique) to sites with which they have “an ongoing relationship,” such as AlterNet.org, other large news hubs, and individual bloggers’ blogs.

Articles published on EdenFantasys websites, such as the “community” website SexIs Magazine, contain HTML crafted to look like links, but aren’t. When visited by a typical human user, a program written in JavaScript and included as part of the web pages is automatically downloaded and intercepts clicks on these “link-like” elements, fetching their intended destination from the server and redirecting users there. Due to the careful and deliberate implementation, the browser’s status bar is made to appear as though the link is legitimate, and that a destination is provided as expected.

For non-human visitors, including automated search engine indexing programs such as Googlebot, the “link” remains non-functional, making the article a search engine’s dead-end or “orphan” page whose only functional links are those whose destination is EdenFantasys’s own web presence. This makes EdenFantasys’ website(s) a self-referential black hole that provides no reciprocity for contributors who author content, nor for any website ostensibly “linked” to from article content. At the same time, EdenFantasys editors actively solicit inbound links from individuals and organizations through “link exchanges” and incentive programs such as “awards” and “free” sex toys, as well as syndicating SexIs Magazine content such that the content is programmatically altered in order to create multiple (real) inbound links to EdenFantasys’s websites after republication on their partner’s media channels.

A similar slew of posts crop up in response:

~ Garnet: Business Ethics

~ She Posts: EdenFantasys Accused of Hoarding Links

~ Rayne: We're Just Waiting, Hoping... Giving the Benefit of the Doubt

~ Sarah Sloane: Beyond Disgusted... Partly with Myself

~ Tom Allen: Beast of Eden

~ Figleaf: Web Merchants, Inc and EdenFantasys Unfortunate, Unethical, Link-Hiding Policies

~ Menstrual Poetry: EdenFantasys: Crumbling Community

- Britni posts to EF's forums, linking to Maymay's entry. The post is removed in less than a day. So much for EF being transparent! Luckily, both Britni and AAG took screencaps of the forum thread.

- EF posts a response to Maymay's entry, which basically reads: bullshit, bullshit, placating-PR-speak, more bullshit. They claim that they're using linking practices that many other big websites use, in order to prevent viral links. Hmm.

- Maymay explains why, exactly, their explanation is bullshit. (Cross-posted here.) (More information can be found here.)

- When EF forum members start questioning EF's practices, voicing their concern, or, in some instances, doing nothing at all, EF responds by locking their accounts and deleting threads and posts, even though they claim to support freedom of speech and claim to not censor their membership. Again, with no warning or contacting of the members who posted the comments in question.

~ Juliettia: EdenFallacys

~ Britni: EF Continues to Dig its Own Grave

~ Woman Tribune: EdenFantasys: A Sex Shop No One Can Trust

~ DarlingDove: What I Tried to Say On EF

~ Forum Discussion Screenshot via Mistress Kay uploaded by AAG

~ Forum Discussion Screenshot via Of Sex and Law uploaded by AAG

- EF explains that they are disabling these accounts and posts as a "cooling off period." They go on to add a FAQ thread, where they elaborate more on the locked accounts, as well as their linking practices, claiming that "there has never been an intention, or agreement, or any commitment to link back to a writer," "there is nothing illegal or even suspicious in our business practices" and "if you read negative posts about us, look a few lines below or to the side, you will always find our competition’s promos," none of which makes any sense.

- Sex educator and writer Violet Blue comments that EF may be looking at a reputation crisis, and says she will be writing more about the scandal shortly. Tristan Taormino re-tweets about the debacle, and sex toy stores such as myticklespot begin commenting on it, as well.

- In spite of it all, a number of people are deciding to stay with EF because of other factors.

There's a good amount of discussion, re-tweeting, etc going on on Twitter under the hashtags #EFLies, #EdensFallacy and #EdensFucked.

Epiphora has put together a (much more well-written) post about these events, with more past-employee-horror-stories, here.

To summarize: the biggest issue some people are taking with EF is that they claim to want to foster a community, but their actions indicate that they could care less.

19May/102

Review: Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System

The Under the Bed Restraint System's selling point is that it's quick and easy to set up, and you don't need a bed with a headboard to secure stuff to. You just need a mattress, and a bedframe. I've read so many glowing reviews of the Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System, and have been wanting to trying it out for almost a year. I finally got my chance... perfect timing, too, since me and J are living like hoboz right now. We don't even have a bedframe, let alone a headboard.

First: specifics. The Restraint System is made up of four 60" nylon straps, a nylon connector strap, and four cuffs. All these straps are adjustable, like backpack straps. The cuffs are made of nylon with neoprene backing and Velcro closures, and are all 15" long. The straps, which you secure the cuffs to, end in O-rings. The cuffs come with O-rings and metal snaps. You could easily wash all of the pieces by hand. I feel like throwing everything in the wash wouldn't be good because of the metal pieces. You can also use different cuffs with the straps, if you wish.

You set up the Restraint System by lifting the mattress, and throwing the system underneath. Then you can adjust the straps to the desired lengths. As you can see vaguely in the picture, the packaging suggests that you either put the straps at the top and bottom of the bed, or have them at the sides of the bed. There are probably many other configurations you can try. I think the straps are all long enough that you could use it with a futon or something. The entire system is so light and easy to put away that I can see it being very easy to travel with - you know, for trysts in hotel rooms and such. The straps are also easy to put away: simply stow them under the mattress once you're done. Instant hiding place.

Me and J set up the system and I had him secure me to it. We ended up positioning the straps at the top and bottom of the bed, which gave me a bit more room to move around (I was able to turn myself onto my side, for example). He tightened the straps until they were taut and I couldn't move at all. I pulled and struggled against the cuffs to no avail. The cuffs, besides being completely secure, were fuzzy and very comfortable as well.

J teasingly told me he was going to leave me there tied up, and then proceeded to use my belly as a tabletop for his notebook. For a while, he wrote down notes, and read certain excerpts to me. J isn't kinky at all, so I didn't slide into subspace entirely. Despite that, I felt the same pleasant, secure, Zen feeling at being restrained by these cuffs, as I did when I was first tied up with rope. After a while, J put his notebook away, started nuzzling and snuggling with me... which clearly lead to other things. He re-secured the straps my ankles were attached to, so that they were on either side of the bed and my legs were spread. Being fucked while restrained? Really liked it. And would definitely repeat it.

The system set up on me and J's bed. Please try to ignore the cardboard-box "nightstand"...

As much as I love this system, and as much as I agree with many of the glowing reviews I've read, I can find some places for improvement. For one thing, the cuffs are all the same size. For some reason, I expect most people have thicker ankles than wrists. Or maybe that's just me? I also have very thin wrists. When the cuffs were secured around my wrists, only an inch or so of Velcro was actually touching. These cuffs are long enough that larger people could wear them comforably; but maybe Sportsheets could similarly consider people with skinny wrists? :) In any case, I still couldn't pull myself loose from the cuffs, so I suppose the size of the cuffs doesn't actually matter.

Besides that, I would have liked it if the snaps were detachable from the cuffs, so they could be used for other things, though their permanent attachment to the cuffs makes them less easy to lose. I'd also like it if the set came with some sort of pouch unit I could store it in. And, while I couldn't get out of the cuffs by pulling against them, with my hands close together I could reach the adjustment point of the strap and loosen it. I could also easily pull the Velcro. If my hands had been spread-eagled, that wouldn't have been the case, but then the straps could have been designed with the adjustment points at the other ends. Except then I guess the plastic pieces would create a "bump" in the mattress. J didn't see this as a flaw, since it gives the bottom an "out."

In short: I like the Under the Bed Restraint System a lot. It is awesome in its versatility.

Price @ Babeland.com: $55