Review: Wet Together Couples Lube

His 'n' hers: watches, perfumes, matching sweaters, and now - lubricant. Wet Together Couples Lube from Sextoy.com seriously trips my "hetero alarm," as I call it. When I first received the package, the first thing I said to F was "this is so damn hetero!" The product is completely gendered, right from the pink & blue bottles, complete with venus & mars symbols, down to the lubes' functions (cool & tingling for her, warming for him.) Then again, I don't really know what else I would have expected from a product like this. F's response to my grumblings was: "what did you expect them to do? Have a Person #1 and Person #2?" (Well, why not?) In any case, if you're a straight couple who likes romantic shit, you'll probably like Wet Together.

Rebel that I am, I didn't actually use Wet Together the way it was supposed to: she applies it to him, he applies it to her, and then the lubes are mixed together during mindblowing sexx. Or, as Wet Together's site puts it: "The intimate act of touching makes the connection. The two unite, body to body, heart to heart. Two exciting sensations…Become ONE…together™." Excuse me while I go make a cheese sandwich.

Hers (tingling): It does, indeed, feel cool & tingly. It makes my clit tingle, and, as a result, I am very aware of my clit. The tingling sensation straddles a very delicate line between arousing and annoying, almost like an itch you really want to scratch - which is actually an advantage. If you like titillation, you could apply it before going about your daily business. Or, you could apply it as foreplay and amplify every brush of fabric or flesh. So, it works - but I'm just not really a fan of the sensation, so I haven't used it much at all.

Smell: Faintly & plesantly fragrant.

Taste: Sweet, with a minty, bitter aftertaste.

Consistency: Thin & silky. Slightly sticky.

Material: Silicone-based. (Don't use with silicone toys.)

Ingredients: Dimethicone, cyclopentasilioxane, dimethiconoi, phenyl trimethicone, topopheryl acetate, peppermint extract.

His (warming): J, for certain reasons, didn't want to try this out. And so, I ambushed one of my guy friends when he came to visit me and got him to try it out in the bathroom. (Because that's what being friends with me means, apparently.) He rubbed it over and under the head of his dick, like you're supposed to (?), came back, and said he liked it and found it very pleasant. I tried it and found it didn't have as strong an effect on me as Hers did - basically vague stimulation without the coolness.

Smell: Nothing.

Taste: Hard candy that's overly sweet and has gotten stale.

Consistency: Same as Hers, but a little less watery.

Ingredients: Glycerin.

Combined: So, the idea is that you lube each other up, get all hot and bothered, and then have sex - i.e. insert glycerin-coated penis into vagina. This bothers me a little because glycerin + vag makes infections more likely. On the plus side, the consistency changes and becomes thicker & more viscous, though, and according to several other reviews I've read, that makes it a lot better to use. Also, cheesy as the product tagline might be, I can definitely see why this would be conducive to intimacy and bringing in more foreplay.

An annoying note: for some reason, the bottles are very leaky. I travelled with mine in a ziploc bag in my luggage, and after the journey, there was lube coating the inside of the ziploc. I don't know what causes this, since besides the non-cylindrical shape, the bottles don't look any different from other lubes I've used, but I have to be careful to store them standing upright.

I still think it's entirely possible to make a queer/gender-neutral version of this. Sleek bottles, one shimmering white, and one sparkly and clear. French labels, because French is supposed to be classy: Un & Deux. Same intimacy and complementary lube styles. C'mon, can't you see this happening?!

Anyway, I'm not sold on this lube because of the not-completely-body-safe ingredients, and because I am just not the kind of person to reach for it and use it during foreplay.

Price @ Sextoy.com: $22.68

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