Porn and sex work will always exist; why not stake a claim in it and work to create more liberties and spaces for our own representations? As Annie Sprinkle has said, “The Answer to bad porn isn’t no porn… it’s to try and make better porn!” (And for me, this means more porn.)

- Jiz Lee, in this interview with Rabbit White

Last spring, I caught a ride with a co-worker for some work-related thing and (of course!) we started talking about porn. I’m not sure how we got into the topic, but she had a young son at home and worried about his one day being exposed to porn via the internet. She was quite a progressive lady and wasn’t worried about him watching porn in general, she just worried about how he might start thinking that everything that happened in porn also happened in reality, and that he’d internalize unhealthy views about sex as a result. I could see her point. While I watch and enjoy porn, there is definitely a lot of “bad” porn out there.

And with regards to that, I agree with Annie Sprinkle and Jiz Lee. The answer to bad porn isn’t to try to eliminate or censor it all completely, but to make more porn! Better porn, more diverse porn, porn that we want to see. And in that spirit, here’s what I want to see more of in porn:

I want to see more beautiful men. Not just hot or handsome – beautiful. I want to see men who are coy, men who are pretty, men who are delicate, and men who are vulnerable.

I want to see more porn actresses who look like me: short, chubby, brown women.

I want to see more female tops who look like me.

I want to see more female tops (performing with male bottoms) period.

I want to see more female tops whose topping styles I actually like. Read: less high-pitched yelling; more understated, low-voiced commands, with all the power, instead, in her glance.

I want to see more female tops who aren’t decked out in uber-feminine, domme gear like corsets and high heels. Don’t get me wrong, I like corsets and high heels, and sometimes I want to see corsets and high heels. But sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I want to see female tops who aren’t uber-feminine. Or who, again, are understated and don’t need to perform their dominance through their clothing, they just do it.

I want to see more cunnilingus. I love being eaten out; I love it when my partner obviously enjoys eating me out, and I want to see more of that sort of thing in porn. There is so much head-giving in porn. As in cis-women giving cis-men head. So many blowjobs. I do not like watching blowjobs. I like giving blowjobs, but watching blowjobs is boring. Yawn. I’m fed up of seeing blowjobs¹. I want to see women getting eaten out, I want to see close-ups of her partner’s tongue against her clit, and I want to see both her and her partner enjoying the hell out of it.

I want to see more porn performers who look like ordinary people.

I want to see more porn featuring gay men, but geared towards women.

I want to see more lesbian sex that looks real, not just like eye-candy for the men.

I want to see more safe sex. Safe sex is sexy too.

I want to see more behind-the-scenes commentary.

I want to see more genders being represented besides cis-men and cis-women.

I want to see porn that isn’t all about the money shot.

What kind of porn do you want to see?

This post is part of a blogosphere-wide carnival called Lady Porn Day! Read more Lady Porn Day posts or keep up with the discussion on Twitter under the hashtag #ladypornday.

1. I do, however, love seeing people receiving head if they’re wearing a strap-on.

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Vol.5 is posed of five twenty-minute-long “episodes”. My overall impression was a positive one. The actors’ genders were very diverse: femmes, bois, transmen, cismen, genderqueers. (I tried my best to refer to everyone with the pronoun that seems the most correct, but please correct me if I’m wrong.) All of these scenes were quite kinky, also, including flogging, cuffs, sensation play, etc. Most of the porn I own is pretty vanilla and I really liked getting to see kink in action.

The scenes are filmed very differently from the more mainstream style that I’m used to: no background music whatsoever – sometimes ordinary, daily-life background noises came into the scene; sets that looked very much like an somebody’s actual bedroom; and lighting and cinematography that looked more natural, almost like a home movie. I felt very much like I was getting a peek behind the curtains at a queer couple’s actual sex life; and I think Kuma & Julie Warren are a couple in real life?

However, while authentic, the filming style did have its downsides. I actually missed having background music because some scenes would hit slow points and the silence just made it worse. The background noises also ranged from distracting (drilling?!) to wonderful (thunder). And there were times when the camera was blurred, or would go out of focus for a few seconds, or would be grainy. I have no idea if that was intentional – for stylistic reasons – or just a technical fuck-up, but in any case it was irritating. I can appreciate a little artsiness, but I do not want an out-of-focus image when the camera is zooming in for a close-up of somebody getting fisted!

Also, for some reason, the scenes all started and ended with shots of a woman watching the scenes on her laptop. The scene would also occasionally switch to this woman blinking, or fiddling with the mousepad, complete with computer-noises. I didn’t really get the point of this. Okay, yeah, I’m watching other people get off, I get it? Was it meant to emphasize the voyeurism of the porn-watcher? I have no idea. I didn’t like it at all, though. I felt that it interrupted the flow of the scenes and took me out of them.

And now, a scene-by-scene rundown:

August & Stacey Staxxx

This first scene was probably the weakest of the bunch. It was very slow, and at times was almost a chore to watch. The premise was pretty cute: it’s August’s birthday and Stacey has a surprise for hir. They take turns to tie each other’s hands with gift ribbon, and drip wax on each other’s chests from colorful birthday-cake candles. The wax play was very hot to watch; I loved hearing Stacey hiss in pain/pleasure as the wax dripped onto her breasts, and then see the angry red marks left behind. Eventually Stacey takes out August’s cock and fucks hir while hir hands are tied: also hot to watch, as August strained against hir bonds, trying to get Stacey’s breast in hir mouth. The scene ends with August fingerfucking Stacey to orgasm. I found Stacey very cute and teasing; I particularly liked her girly outfit combined with her unshaved her armpits and pussy. I felt like she had no energy, though; she seemed almost sleepy when she was bottoming. I liked August’s nervous laughter and how ze seemed very into the scene, but the only exchanges they had were contrived banter centered around the birthday theme. When Stacey finally begs, “Fuck me!” towards the end, I was was so relieved to actually hear some dirty talk.

Kuma & Julie Warren

This scene is better. In fact, it’s pretty fucking awesome. Kuma and Julie aren’t the typical kinds of people I find attractive, but I loved their attitudes. Kuma has some pretty awesome tattoos, and I loved his dirty talk and commanding air. Some lines I loved? “I can’t wait to tear into you,” “Let me see those nipples,” “I want my cock deep inside you.” Julie is very sweet and responsive. This scene is heavy on the kink: Kuma gets Julie out of her dress and flogs her back (he has mad flogging skillz, I think), punches her chest (I don’t know quite what to think of chest-hitting just yet), rips off her stockings, lays her down on the bed and canes her inner thighs, offers her water and then spits it over her before actually pouring some into her mouth from a cup, and finally fucks her with his cock, and then his fist. As she was fucked harder, Julie’s voice got more and more incoherent and desperate. I loved watching the fisting. I got more and more worked up as more of his fingers disappeared into her… but then the camera angle changed and I couldn’t see the actual fisting. The only disappointing part of an otherwise great scene.

Rex & Scarlett Chaos (aka. Essin’ Em!)

This is a pretty straightforward scene. I was looking forward to seeing it because Essin’ Em (Scarlett) is in it; her blog was one of the first ones I started reading, and which pretty much introduced me to the sexblogging world There’s more of a butch/femme dynamic going on here. Scarlett is wearing a pretty awesome black dress & red pumps. Rex cuffs her to the bedframe and then fucks her with his hands & cock. Red is quietly charming, and Scarlett is a sassy bottom. I loved it. She teases Rex, refuses to do some of the things he asks until he makes her, and at one point when she’s restrained, demands/asks, “Kiss me. Come kiss me. Now. …Please?” Towards the end of the scene, she gets untied and then knocks Rex’s hands out of the way to give him a blowjob. She also wasn’t kidding when she said on her blog that she’s known for being “a bit loud.” Holy shit, is she loud!

The first three scenes were decent, but it’s really the last two scenes that I found very hot and would probably watch over again. The first three scene were made up of pretty clear more-masculine/more-feminine pairings, and I wanted to see more genderfuckery. I also really wanted to see the tops get off. It’s not like I think there’s a problem with masculine/feminine dichotomies per se, or with people being “stone” (though I have no idea if those actors were stone in general or just for those scenes), but I just get off more on fluidity and blurring boundaries.

Red & Cyd Loverboy

I find these two immensely attractive. Together, their effect was explosive. Cyd comes over to “study”, but is in for a surprise: as soon as he comes into the room, a half-naked and strapped-on Red jumps him and they start wrestling on the bed. I loved the initial struggle, how Cyd resists at first but eventually surrenders, and how the wrestling devolves into giggles. Red is rough with Cyd; ze wastes no time in stripping Cyd’s clothes off and binding his wrists with his own suspenders. Awesome genderfucking moment? Red finding Cyd’s “wiener” (a sock stuffed down his pants), taking it out, and then gagging him with it and saying “Looks like you don’t have a wiener anymore!” Red then takes off Cyd’s pants, flips him over, smacks his ass and starts fucking his ass with zir fingers after making him ask for it. Hot hot hot. Throughout all this, Red keeps up a smiling, slightly demeaning stream, with Cyd squealing and moaning behind the gag. They switch towards the end, with Cyd fisting Red. This time I could see the fisting. It was awesome.

Shawn (aka. Syd Blakovich) & Mickey Mod

Syd Blakovich (Shawn)! I’ve been wanting to watch her perform since forever. And Mickey Mod, a cisgendered man? I can see people arguing about whether or not he should be included, but for me, the answer is very much yes. Shawn is fierce, and Mickey fingerfucks and sucks cock like a pro. More awesome genderfucking moments? Mickey fingerfucking Shawn’s pussy and sucking her cock; Shawn straddling and fucking Mickey (i.e. penis-in-vag sex) while still strapped on. Shawn sucks Mickey off as well, and the scene ends with Shawn taking off her cock, standing over Mickey and rubbing herself to orgasm while he jacks himself off as well. The only things I didn’t like about this scene were the lack of communication (they only exchange words at the beginning and the end of the scene), and the red screen with white writing that randomly appeared 3-4 times. Seriously, what the fuck. I don’t know if this is just a problem with my copy, but I do not want random ads flashing while I’m trying to watch a hot scene & get off.

To conclude: I find the whole Crash Pad concept pretty great, and I’m excited to see where they go next. I’d definitely want to watch more of their DVDs. All I ask is they up the quality of their filming. Sweet scenes like these do not deserve to be faulted by crappy filming.

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The people behind the DVD are stellar. It’s directed by Tristan Taormino, so you already know it’s going to be pretty sweet, and it’s written and hosted by Midori: internationally acclaimed sexpert, author, performer, and workshop instructor.

Introduction

Midori has a very calm & elegant demeanor; at times her voice or gestures seem contrived, but then she’s used to working live, not on camera. She goes over some basic dos and don’ts: like communication, safe-words and other safety issues, and why people might find bondage hot. Some tips I’d already encountered in any BDSM beginner’s book or workshop, but others are very specific and useful, and I probably wouldn’t have thought of them myself. Examples: where on the body is ok to bind, and bondage tools you don’t have to spend a fortune on, like stockings, bathrobe sashes, scarves, and belts. (Why didn’t I think of that?) She also goes over the typical leather cuffs and handcuffs.

The Lesson

Next up is a demo/lesson, featuring Adrianna Nicole and Mark Davis. Midori is present to instruct them, with Adrianna and Mark throwing in the occasional question. Midori begins with some tips on how to best set up the bedroom; using bungee cords and the Under the Bed restraint system as attachment points, and scarves and leather cuffs to demonstrate the actual bondage. They run through a bunch of different positions and combinations: with the scarves, they tie Adrianna’s hands together, tie her wrists to her ankles, create a “sex-sling” with three scarves, and lots of other fun things. They also do a good job of showing how four cuffs and a couple of metal snaps can result in lots of different positions.

I’ve been very interested in learning more about bondage, and I’ve perused a few books and attended a rope bondage workshop once. I found hands-on experience to be the most helpful, but written instructions and even pictures to be woefully inadequate. I guess I’m just a very visual learner. So actually seeing Mark and Midori move Adrianna into different positions was very helpful to me.

After this scene, Midori departs in order to let the porn ensue. Her voice narrates the two sex scenes, giving useful little tips, but you also have the option of a narration-less version in the “special features” section.

Adrianna & Mark

I’m not really a fan of either of these actors. I find Mark Davis kind of boring, and I really want to love Adrianna Nicole because she performs so well, but I just don’t find her that attractive, and like before, I found her grunty/wheezy sex noises annoying. However, together the two had a very hot, playful dynamic and they were clearly very familiar with each other – I wondered if they had been a couple at one point. At the very least they must have performed together before.

Anyway, this scene is pretty hot, but also doubles up as a great instructional scene. It incorporates as many positions and different kinds of restraints as it can: the Under the Bed restraints & leather cuffs, a sex sling set, and leather bondage belts.

This scene contains a bunch of things I absolutely love:

- LOTS OF PUSSY EATING. Shots of Mark flickering his tongue over Adrianna’s clit, getting her pussy all wet and swollen and pink? I find blowjob scenes really boring, but I love watching women getting eaten out. Why don’t they have eating-out in every porn scene?! My world has been changed forever.

- Mark simultaneously fingering Adrianna’s pussy and ass while she’s face-down-ass-up, and then briefly rimming her. Oh yes.

- Mark coming all over Adrianna’s pussy.

Madison Young & Danny Wylde

OH MY GOD. This is possibly the best scene I have ever seen. I want to watch it over and over again. I love it. Hell, I would have sex with it if I could.

Where do I even begin? Okay, first off, both of these performers are so hot that I almost came from simply watching them make out. With all their clothes on and everything. (Madison Young was wearting the best cat-eye glasses.) Danny pushes Madison around and she responds in kind (“It’s your pussy, Sir!”), but he also constantly checks in with her and sometimes narrates what he’s doing; which is both arousing and an example of good communication. This isn’t a straight-up maledom/femsub scene; they switch in the middle, with Danny blindfolded and Madison teasing him.

This scene doesn’t show off as much bondage versatility. At one point the scene devolves into more of a D/s scene, with no bondage happening at all. However, you do get to see a doorjamb restraint set in action, a cuff used as makeshift cock bondage, some creative use of neck-ties, and a scarf turned into a harness which holds a Hitachi against Madison’s clit.

I think it’s time for another list:

- Madison’s enthusiastic blowjob-giving. Seriously. I said that I usually think blowjobs are boring; she was so into it that I couldn’t be bored.

- Madison sitting on Danny’s face.

- Danny spanking & playing with Madison’s ass while she’s restrained, and demanding that she stick it out further.

- Madison’s SCREAMING ORGASM. SRSLY

My one complaint about this DVD? No femdom. The instructional scene is completely maledom/femsub. Sure, Madison tops Danny for a little bit, but it still looked like she was servicing him.

When I first got interested in domination, I naively assumed that femdom/malesub was just as common as… any other configuration, but sadly the DVDs I’ve watched so far have lead me to believe that it isn’t. Either that, or femdom/malesub just isn’t represented as much in more “mainstream” porn titles like this one, which is also disappointing.

In any case, if you’re a bondage expert you might not find this DVD very useful… but if you have even a smidgen of interest in BDSM/bondage, you’ll probably enjoy it.

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Tristan gives the actors a large amount of control over the scenes. The five actresses pick who, how and where they want to fuck: Adrianna Nicole is captured in her shower at home, Satine Phoenix is stranded on a desert road when a kind stranger stops to “help” her, Francesca Le is a good little housewife who decides to turn the tables on her corporate douchebag husband, Marie Luv’s boyfriend confronts her after he discovers she’s been cheating on him, and Sasha Grey has the switchy sex that she enjoys in her personal life.

Before each scene is an interview with the actors about what rough sex means to them. Not only were the interviews hot, but I think they’re perfect for someone who is new to rough sex and might have misconceptions that it’s “abusive” or that there’s only one way of having rough sex. I very much liked that the actresses talked about what exactly turned them on – from hair-pulling to being slapped around. However, there’s only one femdom scene – Francesca Le’s – which I found a bit disappointing. It should have been more balanced! Sure, Sasha has moments where she tops, but only moments. As a mostly-dominant woman I would have liked to see more grovelling from the men.

Onto the first scene between Adrianna Nicole and Marco Banderas. Adrianna is taking a shower (hot) when Marco ambushes her and has his wicked way with her. He pushes her around, shoves his fingers and then his cock into her mouth, makes her crawl along the floor to the bedroom while dragging her by her hair, where he fucks her in the pussy and ass and throws a Hitachi into the mix.

However, it is one of the weaker scenes of the bunch. I love the inclusion of sex toys, that they manage to stay in character pretty much the entire time, with Adrianna shooting some wonderfully vulnerable looks into the camera. However, I wished there was more dialogue between the two, and for some reason Adrianna’s increasingly whinny-like sex noises began to irritate me.

The second scene between Satine Phoenix and Derrick Pierce was awesome, with the longest build-up out of all the scenes. They talk and flirt a little before getting down and dirty, which made the scene more realistic for me, and had me fidgeting with anticipation.

This scene is definitely rough, and struck me as very real. Derrick verbally humiliates Satine, slaps her face, boobs and ass until she has red marks all over her (um, hot hot hot), and has her cringing, begging helplessly, and fucking him desperately while using the frame of her car for leverage.

Finally, he comes all over her while she lies in the dirt, and walks away – and that’s when a big satisfied smile breaks over her face.

The third scene was my favorite. Christian comes home from work and basically acts like an asshole, griping at his employee over the phone while ignoring his wife, Francesca Le. Frustrated, she changes into a sexy outfit before wrapping her husband’s own belt around his neck and pulling him into the bedroom.

Francesca insults him and orders him around. (“You don’t get to speak! You only speak when spoken to.” “Why aren’t you kneeling down? Why are you so slow, you dumb fuck?”) I loved sooo much about this scene – the shoe/foot licking, cunt worship, slapping, smothering. At one point, she uses a rubber flogger on him, makes him touch himself and stuffs her underwear into his mouth. I also really like Christian as a performer. I’ve seen him in Chemistry, and he’s so versatile, so gentle and willing to please but also very quietly commanding when he wants to be. Not to mention mad hot.

One of the few things I didn’t like about this scene was all the spitting. The one instance when I liked it was when Francesca blows him and spits his own come into his mouth. Mmm. The other thing I didn’t like was the TOP collar that she wears. Tops do not wear collars, IMHO. Even if the collar says TOP on it. Finally, I couldn’t help being critical of her dominance, because some of the verbal commands she used were very inconsistent. It didn’t seem to matter what he did, she would praise or chastise him depending more on her mood than on his actual behavior. At one point she punishes him for making her come, which really threw me off.

The fourth scene between Marie Luv and Julius Ceazher was the other weaker scene. Marie says in her interview that she wanted to be punished for cheating because it would produce an intense “love-hate” situation, but after Julius confronts her about it, it isn’t referred to again. Instead of an angry love-hate scenario, their dynamic just seems like what you would find in any rough sex scene.

Julius pushes Marie into various positions and fucks her. Yeah, the scene is pretty much as straightforward as that. The most interesting thing about the scene was when they do it against a mirror. The reflective images were pretty sweet. The scene ends with Julius coming all over the mirror, and with Marie licking it off. I personally did not like the licking. Maybe because I’ve never liked the taste of come? I don’t know.

The last scene features Sasha Grey and Danny Wylde, who are both ridiculously hot. This scene has the least set up, as it begins with the two playing pool and discussing rough sex, before doing what they talk about. They’re both into SM in their personal lives and it definitely shows; they both get very into it, exchanging intense looks and steamy, whispered words.

The scene starts with Danny topping Sasha – but really the scene is a power struggle, which is why I love it so much. Sasha says she wants him to fuck her; “you’ll have to work for it,” he says. “I’ll have to work for it?” Cue mischievous, very un-submissive look from Sasha. Eventually Danny slaps one of Sasha’s boobs, which she had told him not to do, so she switches on him to make him learn his lesson.

The DVD also comes with a safer sex clip and Penny Flame’s guide to choking, which I found very useful. I was actually kind of surprised that all the scenes involved a lot of choking. I assumed that this DVD was aimed at vanilla people who were interested in BDSM or rough play but hadn’t actually tried it yet, and choking seems like an odd thing to start out with because I believe that it comes with more risks than most SM acts.

All in all, though, I thoroughly enjoyed Rough Sex – it’s intelligent, sexy, and has left me wanting more of Tristan’s work.

Four out of five hearts!

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