anal play « Heartbreak Nymphomania

20Jul/102

Subspace

I have him naked, with his ass up and his face in the pillows, red stripes down his pale back where I'd scratched him, and his wrists and ankles cuffed, each wrist connected to the corresponding ankle. I'm rummaging around in my backpack for lube and a plug. When I find what I was looking for, and turn back around to face the bed, I see that he had twisted himself around so that he could look at me. The sight of him exposed, with his face terribly lustful and hungry, was, cliche as it sounds, breathtaking.

I return to my spot behind him, lubing up my fingers and pressing one into his ass, then two, using my other hand to squeeze and pinch his hip. He is making the most wonderful, breathy noises, jerking forwards slightly every time my fingers move inside him, searching, feeling the plush press of warm flesh. His entire body quakes. I am kneeling between his spread legs. One of his hands inches towards my left knee, he finds and squeezes the flesh just above the joint, squeezes every time I push in, hard enough to make me gasp. Every pump of my fingers equals one jolt of pain for me. He has told me that being penetrated is intense, so intense that he has to hold my body in his hands, take handfuls of me and crush me as hard as he can.

Eventually I lube up the plug and slide it in. I ask him to turn over, and he maneuvers himself so that he's on his back. His skin is pale and his lips, nipples and cock are a soft pink. I suck on his cock for a moment before rolling on a condom and unfastening the cuffs so that his hands are free. He doesn't miss a beat. His hands find my hips as I slide him into me, both of us gasping.

I want to fuck him quickly and erratically, like two teenagers in the back of a car whose orgasms are clumsily reached, and over way too suddenly. I want to move on his cock until I come, but he's making me go slow, tantalizingly, letting himself be very nearly engulfed before distancing himself again. He is subtle in all the ways that I am crude.

Sometimes, while I'm above him and making him feel, he does things that completely derail me and make me want to go limp. Things like: put his hand on my neck, bite me, push his fingernails into my skin. He does this now: he digs his fingers into my waist, and pulls me down hard on his cock before lifting me up again. I feel my face contorting into this strange combination of wincing, being about to cry, and desperation. It hurts. It hurts and I feel controlled and the two sensations transform into pleasure almost instantaneously. A switch goes off in my head. Just a while ago he was restrained and I was in control, but it takes only one gesture to make me need him to control me, instead.

We switch positions so that I'm on my back. He tells me to spread my legs, and I hold them open for him. He enters me again, fucking me slowly and exquisitely. I want to watch his face, but at the moment I need to keep my eyes closed. The feeling of being possessed and fucked is too much. I need to focus fully on the tactile and let it sink in.

"I want you to imagine," he says, "that there's a person standing to your right, watching us. Every so often I want you to imagine yourself catching his eye."

As he thrusts into me, I do: "I'm thinking of them touching themselves..."

"Yes; getting so turned on by watching us..."

The person watching is dark and has serious eyes. I sigh and let my head roll back, and I let myself fall into that comfortable space deep in my mind that rocks and lulls me into a calm containment. The space that he has taken me to. I want to ask him to slap me, but I'm losing my ability to speak. All I can do is feel him fuck me, feel him close his fingers around my throat. All I can do is savor.

"I want you to look at me when I come," he says.

I open my eyes. He's fucking me harder, now, more earnestly. As the urgency of his actions builds, then releases, I feel him tense as it rolls over him, his eyes wide almost in shock. His cock twitches in my cunt.

For the next ten minutes after he pulls out of me, I lay there. I want to open my eyes. I can feel him hovering over me, watching my face and the pulse in my jugular that's fluttering like a bird. I want to see him, speak to him, but all I can do is lay limply, sprawled out and utterly useless. I understand why they call it flying. I am soaring. I am no longer a person, but a rag doll, a thing that does not speak or move or take, but is used purely for the sake of my loved one's pleasure.

Filed under: BDSM, Erotica, L, anal play, bottom/object, journal, sex 2 Comments

13Jul/102

Review: Lelo Bob

When I first held the Lelo Bob in my hands, I knew we were not meant to be... because the toy had been mailed to me to use as a prize in a contest I was holding. Nevertheless, I had carefully snuck a peak into the box, and I liked what I saw. Much like Lelo's ad image for Bob, looking at it made me think I was carefully unwrapping an expensive, fragrant cigar. The Bob, despite its decidedly unclassy name, was sleek and gorgeous, and I knew I'd eventually want to try it out myself. Unfortunately, when I did, I realized that Bob's functionality wasn't quite as up to par with its attractive appearance.

As with all Lelo toys, Bob is presented beautifully, and comes with a satin drawstring bag and one-year warranty. It's also made of the smooth, hard silicone that is typical of Lelo.

Due to Bob's small size, I was able to slide it in very easily, and then... I could barely feel anything. I could feel it when I clenched around it. It felt very thin and unsubstantial. I don't even use large plugs regularly; my go-to plug is the njoy pure plug medium. While a beginner couldn't take the pure plug without using something smaller for a while first, it definitely isn't size-queen material either. Bob is very comfortable, definitely, but part of the point of wearing a plug, for me, is feeling it, if only a little bit.

On the other hand, there was a part of Bob I definitely could feel, lodged between my cheeks: the handle. I've read some reviews that criticized Bob's potentially unsafe base, and though I could definitely feel it, it also didn't seem enough to prevent the entire toy potentially slipping into my ass, especially when I was sitting down. I was paranoid about the Bob being pushed in somehow, since the handle is round rather than phlanged and it seems like it could be pushed in with a little force, especially if you've used larger objects in your ass.

Bob, while usable by people of any gender, is essentially designed for people with a prostate, and I was fortunate enough to try it on L. He had it in while we 69ed, and here the handle was a plus. I very much enjoyed putting my finger through the loop and pulling it in and out slightly while I blew him. Afterwards, he told me that he could also feel the handle very obviously, and that the plug felt more noticeable in his butt (than, say, the Bootie), probably due to the plug's length. He didn't see himself wearing it for long periods of time, but definitely liked fucking me with it in.

As for cleaning: Bob is made of silicone, which is body-safe and non-porous, and can be shared after being sterilized. To sterilize the plug, you can wash it with 10% bleach solution, put it in the top shelf of the dishwasher with no soap, or boil it for at least 5 minutes. Also, silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lubes.

So, my verdict? Bob, while quite the looker, was just not for me, although I can see plenty of people, most probably anal beginners, enjoying it.

Specs:
- Type: Anal Plug
- Material: Silicone
- Length: 3.75"
- Width: 1.25"
- Colors: Bordeaux / Deep Blue
- Price @ Vibrator.com: $45

Filed under: L, anal play, anal toys, sex toy review 2 Comments

25May/103

Please, Sir (Virtual Book Tour)

If you ask me, submission is an art form. It requires dedication, focus, commitment and desire, and there’s no single way of doing it. It’s about unlocking something within yourself so you can reach beyond your normal limits, exposing your body and soul in order to go somewhere you cannot get to alone.

The lesson there, and in all of these stories, is that there is risk involved in submission. I don’t mean the physical risks, but the emotional ones, the ones that require a leap of faith, a knowledge that what you are doing may unnerve you, confuse you and scare you, even while it makes you wet and eager and ready for more.

[Excerpt from Introduction: Risk and Reward]

Rachel Kramer Bussel so wonderfully expresses one of the aspects of BDSM that draws me to it the most - and keeps me coming back.

Lately, I have been antsy. My workload has increased and I've spent hours and hours tutoring students. Last night, I came home and wanted nothing more than to abandon my mind and dedicate myself to something mechanical and pleasing to someone else. I ended up cooking, but the dish didn't come out right, and it didn't quite assuage the restlessness that I was feeling.

My lovers are vanilla at the moment, and I've no foreseeable possibility of a kinky encounter. Submissive energy has entered my fantasies, and my mind is plagued with cravings that I picture while I'm getting off:

---

The first fantasy is all about pain. He places me over his lap, lifts up my skirt, and yanks my panties down to my knees. He starts out with his hand - his hands are always large, with wide palms. I am not allowed to kick or move my legs. He wants them straight, flat against the couch, and slightly spread so that he can access me whenever the fancy strikes him. I curl my fingers into the upholstery; trying not to cry out, but feeling the noise welling in my throat regardless. After I've been thoroughly warmed up, he switches to the hairbrush. The hard wood results in a new, sharper pain, while waking up the duller pain left behind from the spanks with his hand.

A few minutes in, the tears come. My thoughts are filled with nothing but: pain, don't move, and why? Eventually he makes me stand up. My face is contorted and streaked with tears, which embarrasses me more than my recent position over his lap.

He gestures for me to bend over the back of his desk chair. Same rules: spread my legs, and keep them still. He finishes with several strokes from his belt. I hear the leather whistle through the air, and crack across my already sore flesh. This time, I scream.

He doesn't stop until my ass is blistered red and I can no longer control my sobs. He brushes his hand lightly over one cheek, which makes me flinch. I already know I'm dripping. He grabs my hips, thrusts into me without any preamble, and his hipbones press into my roasting flesh. As soon as he enters me, my orgasm rolls over me in a wave, but he keeps going.

I think to myself: I'm glad I didn't move my legs the entire time, like he wanted.

---

The next fantasy is about servitude. I picture myself living with someone who works hard every day and comes home tired. Before he comes home, I cook one of his favorite dishes. From scratch; an authentic recipe I learned and then added my own flair to. I serve the dinner and clean up; after dinner, we go to the bedroom and strip down. He lays down on the bed and I oil my hands, rubbing the tension out of his sore back and shoulders. I am naked because he likes the feeling of my breasts and cunt brushing against his body. Once he is relaxed, he rolls over and pulls me on top of him, entering me in one swift stroke.

---

The fantasy after that is about uncontrol. I'm spread-eagled and restrained on the bed, with my legs bent at the knee. He's fucking me with a toy that's designed to hit my G-spot, and it feels wonderful. He fucks me so hard and irresistibly that my orgasm hits me before I'm even aware that it's happening; and he continues until I have another, and another, and my body is spent. I can barely move, or think...

---

The final fantasy is about possession. We're in bed, naked, in the dark, and he fists his hand in my hair, pulling my head down to worship his cock. I use my lips, throat and tongue to the best of my ability, shutting down my mind and letting his cock hit the back of my throat. I gag, once; a stream of spit surges out of my mouth and down his shaft. He pulls my head away and tells me he wants to finish in my ass. I position myself; face in the pillows, on my knees, ass and cunt in the air, presented to him. He fingers my ass until I'm moaning, and then pushes his slick cock into me easily. I moan, and whimper, his cock hitting something inside of me that makes me see stars. When he's done, I lay face down for a while, reveling in the feeling of being nothing but his object of pleasure; the receptacle for his come.

---

Please, Sir speaks to all of these fantasies of mine, and has definitely helped fan the fire of my submissive cravings.

Submission is so many things to me: trust, expression, abandon, servitude, skill. Above all, though, it's knowing that I'm pleasing my lover by giving myself over to him. One of my favorite stories from the anthology displays this perfectly:

Sometimes, a few hours after she has fallen asleep, Veronica feels her husband climb atop her, his cock hard and insistently throbbing against her thighs. She knows what to do. She spreads her legs, wide. As Vince buries his cock inside his wife, stretching her open, she moans drowsily. She doesn't have to move or groan or call out his name. She only has to allow herself to be used. It turns her on that in the dark of their bedroom, their bodies heavy with sleep, she is just a tight warm space from which her husband will extract her satisfaction.

...

Vince said, "I'm not looking for a maid. I'm not looking for a mother. I'm looking for a body. I also know how to appreciate that which I am allowed to take."

On their wedding night, Vince told Veronica that he didn't believe in punishment. He believed in discipline. Then he taught her the difference. For a long while, Vince stood behind his new wife, inhaling her scent, letting his hands memorize the contours of her body. She shivered. Vince smacked her ass, smiling as her skin rippled beneath his hand. A blush of red quickly appeared. He smacked Veronica's ass again, harder this time, his hand stinging as it rebounded. "Discipline," he said, "is a reminder."

...

Veronica looked up at Vince and saw unexpected kindness in his eyes. "Have I pleased you?" she asked. Vince reared back, holding the tip of his cock at the sensitive, quivering lips of her cunt. He squeezed Veronica's throat harder, and she wrapped one hand around his wrist. Vince thrust forward. Veronica cried out again, feeling a blade of pleasure so deeply, she thought her bod might split at the heart. Finally, he said, "Yes."

[Excerpt from Veronica's Body by Isabelle Grey]

You can order a copy of the book from Amazon.com.

Filed under: BDSM, Erotica, anal play, books, bottom/object, fiction, pain, sex fantasy, sex toy review, spanking 3 Comments

22Apr/107

Pet (HNT)

It's only been about a month since me and J broke up, and already I'm back up to my old tricks.

A few days ago, I was venting to an online friend (who I will refer to from now as the Inventor) about the breakup. He consoled me, and after a while the conversation somehow segued to the topic of BDSM.

He asked if I wanted to submit to him.

I said yes.

For the past few days, he has given me numerous tasks to do. Some highlights: go without underwear for the entire day, expose myself and take a picture (he gave me permission to post it ^ ), & wear a plug for at least an hour.

He requests that I call him Sir, and wear my amethyst & silver bracelet (the one I used last time I was subbing for someone) when serving him. He let me choose my own title. I find most submissive titles somewhat obnoxious. I couldn't really settle on one I loved, but I went with one that sounded less obnoxious than the others - pet. The more he addresses me with it, the more I grow to like it.

He knows I'm inexperienced, and so is doing his best to build me up without causing me (too much) discomfort. So far, I've given up quite a lot of control to him already. I cannot touch myself or orgasm without his permission (excluding sex with other people), and starting from tomorrow he will be picking out clothes for me. (I sent him a list of most of the clothes and shoes I own. God, that was a long list.) Interestingly, I think the clothing rule will be more difficult than the orgasm rule, because clothes are such a big part of my self-expression. But, then, that's also part of the reason why I like that rule so much. Having someone control my behavior, even though it may be in seemingly inconsequential terms, is such an exciting act to me.

He also wants to make a point to get me to get over my aversion to verbalizing my thoughts and wants. If I'm IMing with someone, or writing, the dirty talk will just come pouring out - I've even started narrating sex in my head sometimes - but when it comes to saying it out loud, I freeze up. He knows this about me. He also wants to get me to be more comfortable with "performing" on cam for him. (And he knows me well enough to explicitly forbid any form of "liquid courage" while I'm camming with him. Damn.)

Yesterday, we were camming and he was telling me how hard he was at the thought of fucking me. Seeing his face and being able to put his facial expression to the words was exciting enough - I mostly just IM with him, and have spoken to him on the phone a couple of times, but never cam with him. Then he panned the camera down to show me the unmistakable bulge in his jeans. I bit down on my lip; on the tips of my fingers.

He said I might get to see more if I did something else for him. He wanted me to say, out loud, how much I wanted to fuck him. And to call him Sir. Nicely.

Part of me hates calling people "Sir" out loud. The word just sounds out of place; like I shouldn't be using it.

But I did it. I fumbled around awkwardly in my seat for a minute, and then I did it.

He rewarded me by letting me watch him take his cock out and stroke himself, slowly. I stared. I wanted so much to take him in my mouth...

After I got over some of the initial nervousness and shyness, I began wondering how I could make things even more interesting. Like a child with a new schoolteacher, I started thinking about loopholes, margins that I could play with. D/s is interesting because it's basically mutual manipulation, except both parties know exactly what's going on. I wouldn't want to do enough to anger or disrespect him, but I'm curious about what a little struggle could do.

I got an answer today. Last night, I got drunk at Zeta Mu and couldn't find this one person I'd been looking to hook up with (again). I went to bed drunk and sexually frustrated, and ended up putting my hands into my boxers and touching myself for a few minutes before drifting off to sleep.

I confessed this to him today, while I was at work, actually. He told me to find a private place, expose my ass, and spank myself hard enough to leave a red mark. I very self-consciously went to the restroom and did so. I knew that my hand would not be enough, so I ended up using a letter opener. Talk about creative use of office supplies.

I came back to my desk feeling embarrassed and obedient, with the sting of the letter opener slowly fading away as I sat.

I've been brought to such a heightened state of sexual tension that it feels like my entire body is thrumming. I think about fucking him while I'm at work, and while I'm doing my daily errands. I picture him taking me bent over desks, surreptitiously in darkened hallways, and on sumptuous bedsheets. I picture him biting me, fucking me hard and kissing the breath out of me until I'm too spent to move or speak after he's done.

Naturally, I hadn't done anything sexual for about a week beforehand. He has only granted me one orgasm so far, so I savored it. I made myself come like I hadn't in a long time: only with my fingers, slowly circling my clit and exploring my folds, while imagining him throwing me over his lap, spanking me and making me whimper, before brushing his fingers, oh so softly, over my wetness.

He has wonderfully large hands. I know that much.

This is re-opening parts of me that had been temporarily closed off. I'm writing erotica again; feeling my sexual energy again. I didn't realize what a big part of my sexuality kink was. I don't need it all the time, but it was definitely difficult being with a purely vanilla partner. I love vanilla sex as much as anyone, but so often my mind would naturally edge towards biting, scratching, slapping, serving and kneeling. Not being able to express my sexuality that way made me kind of boring.

I'm grateful for what he has done for/with me so far. And I'm looking forward for what is to come.

hhnt~

Filed under: BDSM, Erotica, HNT, anal play, bottom/object, cybersex, journal, long distance, sexual frustration, the Inventor, wanking 7 Comments

20Dec/095

Review: Bend Over Boyfriend

I was looking forward to reviewing Carol Queen's Bend Over Boyfriend DVD from Babeland.com both because of my interest in strap-on sex, and because I've been interested in seeing more of Carol Queen's work.

Bend Over Boyfriend is a part instructional, part erotic DVD that was released in 1998. (A follow-up DVD was released after, with more focus on the erotic.) It was a bestseller when it first came out, during a time period where (I'm under the impression that) not many resources related to sexuality were readily available. Carol and her partner Dr. Robert Morgan spend 30 minutes talking about why people find pegging sexy and how to do it right, and then spend the next 30 minutes giving us a live demo. Interspersed with Carol and Robert's material is footage of two couples, first sitting attentively and watching their own copies of BOB, then trying out the techniques themselves.

Carol and Robert clearly know their stuff. First, they each talk about why a person would find pegging hot, and what they would potentially take away from the experience. Then they delve further into some of its mechanics (which are applicable to couples of any gender combination, but are aimed at opposite sex couples here):

- Common myths about anal sex

- Communication with your partner and why its important

- The prostate gland and how to play with it

- Cleanliness and safety

- Foreplay and prepping (for both the pegger and the... peggee?)

- Choosing lubes, butt toys (plugs, etc), dildoes and harnesses

I know most of the material already, since I've come across it in other writings about anal sex and BDSM, but they go into amazing detail, and I really appreciate that. Their presentation, though, leaves much to be desired. The video quality isn't very good, and at times the camera isn't even in focus (!!!). (The video was independently produced, which might have something to do with it.) Carol and Robert don't really do anything except look directly into the camera and talk. I felt like I was watching a sex-ed video, or was being lectured at by two professors, not unlike those at my college classes:

carolandrobert

Carol attempts to change things up interspersing their dialogue with scenes of the couples watching the video, interacting with each other, and prepping each other for sex. This doesn't really help break the monotony, and actually ends up being distracting. I mean, first off, there are a few idiosyncracies from the 90s that I couldn't not notice:

Wha?

And then there's the weird pink or green tint that randomly appears:

pink

Not to mention this babe dressed in nothing but a doctor's coat who pops up every now and then to feed us cheesy one-liners like "A finger a day keeps the doctor away! *WINK*":

???

And, finally, it's just plain distracting to watch people flirt, lick and get fingered, when I'm trying to listen and pay attention to whether I can use oil-based lube with a silicone dildo or not.

Besides those little snatches of erotic scenes, the action doesn't really start until halfway through the DVD. Rapt attention is paid to safe sex in all of the scenes - no one is rimmed, fingered, or fucked without latex gloves, condoms, or cling film (did they not have dental dams back then?). Again, all the scenes are all interspersed with each other. I really would have preferred watching them one by one.

Anyway, first Carol straps on and fucks Robert while he's bent over. It was an interesting scene for me to watch, because Carol and Robert are quite a bit older than me, and when I'm watching porn I don't usually look for people in their age group. The scene didn't make me feel uncomfortable or anything, it was just... interesting. Carol and Robert have wonderful chemistry and obviously get very into the scene. Carol makes sure to keep checking how Robert is doing, and Robert assents breathlessly at things he enjoys. They both reach explosive orgasms at the end. It's very authentic, and their passion made me smile.

carolandrobertfucking

And then the two couples, who I creatively dub Couple #1 and Couple #2. I don't think any of them are very experienced with acting in porn. The little dialogue they have sounds contrived, and the sex scenes are awkward at times. But there's something charming about how they aren't pornstars. Since this DVD is aimed at the average Joe, and its message is that anal sex isn't just some crazy thing you see in porn - that anyone can do it - it's kind of appropriate that the actors don't look like they just walked off of a centerfold. That said, I am as superficial as the next person, and certain things about the actors did get in the way of my enjoyment of the scenes.

I wasn't a big fan of Couple #1. I didn't find either of them particularly attractive, and Guy #1 just plain annoyed me. He looks bored the entire time, whether he's watching the video, or watching his girlfriend get naked and try on a strap-on, even when he gets fucked hard up the ass. The height of his excitement is when he says: "oh. Oh yeah." Girl #2 is cute and giggly and a little awkward - quite endearing - but Guy #1's lack of emotion basically ruined the scene for me. I can't even remember much about it now, except that they switch positions a few times, and Guy #1 tells Girl #1 what he wants her to do.

Bored...

Slightly less bored

On the other hand, I really liked Couple #2. Girl #2 is butchyfemmeish and curvy and tasty, and I found Guy #2 so attractive. I think it was the combination of his long hair, slim body, nice ass and air of ambiguous sexual orientation mixed with a healthy dash of expressive sexuality that did it. He's easily the most natural out of the four. He moans and asks for more, and at one point gets on top of Girl #2, grinding himself down on her strap-on and flinging his hair back in rapture. He also plays more with Girl #2's strap on, rubbing against it and giving her a blowjob (yum). They also seem more engaged with each other than couple #1: they look at each other, smile at each other, and seem to be enjoying themselves a great deal. Girl #2 kind of loses interest as the scene wears on, but Guy #2 more than makes up for it. Eventually, Guy #2 comes all over Girl #2's tits.

couple2b

couple2c

I really would have liked to see the girls orgasm or get more obvious pleasure out of it, especially since Carol made sure to accentuate that women can get pleasure from pegging as well as the men.

Pegging is already sold on me, so I wouldn't recommend using this DVD as a way to try and convince your lover(s) to try it out with you. Carol and Robert delve very thoroughly into all aspects of anal sex with little or no fluffing. Some would say they're a little bit too thorough. (Did you know anal sex is actually good for hemorrhoids because it increases the blood flow in the rectal area? Or that vegetable shortenings can be used as lube, but smell really bad if you leave a stain?) If you and your partner(s) already want to try it, or if you just want to educate yourself, then go for it.

Personally, I'm happy that I watched it, but would prefer to find something more current. Maybe another one of Tristan Taormino's guides, for instance.

Specs:
- Type: Instructional / porn
- Length: 60 minutes
- Release date: 1998
- Directed by: Carol Queen
- Featuring: Carol Queen and Robert Morgan
- Price @ Babeland.com: $34.95

Three hearts out of five.

Filed under: anal play, chick with a dick, porn, sex toy review 5 Comments

12Dec/099

Review: Tantus Curve

The Tantus Curve is the first Tantus dildo made with a wider base, designed for a better fit in a harness. Ever since I heard about it, I've been hankering to try it. Luckily for me, TabuToys sent me one to review

For those who don't know -

Tantus products are hand made from a premium silicone blend (not compatible with silicone lube, and don't store it next to other silicone toys), which is phthalate-free, bleachable, boilable and dishwasher-safe (if you're not planning on sharing, simple soap and water will do), and pretty much super sweet.

</obligatory tantus love>

It's a very comfortable size - 6" insertable and not overwhelmingly thick - and quite firm with some give, i.e. not floppy. The surface is a soft matte v.s. sleek and glossy. It also has a fairly pronounced head, and slight ridges.

Used vaginally, its curve does hit my G-spot, but not as spot-on as other Tantus G-spotting toys I have (the Acute and the Techno), and I had to thrust really hard with it - pretty much pound myself with it - in order to feel the most sensation. Though, I have been told by J that my G-spot is very "deep" which might have something to do with it. The ridges are subtle - not as intense as the Echo, for instance - but their presence is definitely noticeable and pleasant. I also tried using the Curve anally, but it was slightly too thick for me, so I ended up getting sore and stopping :/ The only dildo I actually use anally on a frequent basis is the Acute, which is quite tiny (5" length, 1.25" diameter). I can see the Curve being an excellent step-up from the Acute, once my butt is ready for it.

Okay, now that I've finally written as much as I can - the rest of the review is on video. I have terrible performance anxiety (yes, even if I'm not showing my face in the review) so I've only ever done one before, but the Curve needs a video review. It's just that great.

Go watch to see my awesome harness demo and to find out why the Curve almost replaces the Acute as my favorite/go-to dildo. Almost.

...I tried the "pull test" (as patented by Backseat Boohoo), and it stood up tremendously. No matter how much I yanked, the Curve stayed put. As a good strapped-on dildo should.

(The base also lets you stand the Curve up on a flat surface )

I adore the new base. I hope that Tantus makes all the rest of its products (or, well, a good number of them at least) with this base. The only reason the Curve isn't #1 on my list is that I can't use it anally (yet). Otherwise, I absolutely love it.

Specs:

- Length: 7"
- Insertable length: 6"
- Diameter: 1 3/8"
- Material: Silicone
- Color @ TabuToys: Light purple
- Colors @ Tantus: Light purple, midnight purple, black
- Price @ TabuToys: $59.00

Five out of five hearts!

Filed under: anal play, dildos, sex, sex toy review, wanking 9 Comments

26Oct/0911

Rimjob

Not many things squick me out.

As one of my friends once said to me: I seem to have no limits. Many of the BDSM-related things I don't want to do, I don't want to do because I don't know how to do them in a safe manner. Of course, I don't want to do everything, but I can comfortably say that typically I'm up for almost anything.

Which is why my aversion to rimjobs was kind of perplexing to me.

Anal sex, sure, but putting one's mouth there seemed too... intimate. Dirty. I didn't want to let someone do that to me because I was too embarrassed, and I didn't want to do it to someone else because I thought it would be... kinda gross.

Christopher had to try very hard to convince me to let him rim me. And even when I gave in - bent over, on my knees, ass in the air, head in my pillow, his tongue in and around my hole, me moaning and panting and my mind being blown - I wondered how he could possibly find that erotic.

Well... all of that changed one night, when me and the Optimist started making out.

Things quickly progressed until he was naked and I was blowing him, licking and sucking his balls and his thighs. Soon enough the same thought came to both of us at pretty much the same time:

"Can you kiss my butt?"

I blinked. I had been thinking of doing that, and more... but did I really want to?

It took me a few seconds to make up my mind before I gently turned him over. I kissed and nibbled his ass cheeks for a bit before spreading them to reveal his little pink star.

I looked. I smelt. It smelt... different, but not unpleasant. I rubbed over his hole with my finger. I enjoyed having him spread out before me like that. I imagined I was making him feel exposed... I hoped that I was.

And then I put out my tongue and took my first taste.

Again, it tasted different, but not unpleasant. He was clean, and I felt like I could have been licking any other part of his body... except this was somehow so much more erotic.

I dove in and started lapping.

He made the most amazing noises. Different. Mewling, whimpering, vulnerable. My tongue is too short, so I couldn't do more than just lap and swirl my tongue against his hole - but that was more than enough. Soon, he breathlessly asked if he could flip onto his back so he could jerk himself off more comfortably. I let him - but my mouth could no longer reach him. So I used my fingers and watched him as he came - hard, hard...

My god. How could I have ever thought that was gross?

Filed under: Christopher, Erotica, anal play, intimacy, journal, sex, the Optimist 11 Comments

18Sep/091

A Story of You #7 The First Time I Gave Up…

Contest entry number seven by NoZeFace...

7. First time I gave up...

The best thing about fighting is making up. And the best thing about control is giving up. How I got in the position I was in (face down, ass up, hands pulling my ass apart, plug filling me) was rather easy to tell. How I gave in...a little more difficult. It all started with a fight. Well, not so much a fight as in my lover frustrated at me and letting her feelings known.

We have a long distance relationship and limited time to be together. In the 24hrs we have been together, I have gotten off a few times. She...not so much. Or, more accurately, at all. Now, it wasn't like I was slouching. I was doing my damnest to satisfy her. Just wasn't happening for one reason or another. I was finishing too fast, she not at all. My broad pink tongue not getting her delicious cunt going. Fingers teasing her g-spot...nothing was getting her to her banshee wailing, hip shaking, gripping for dear life post-orgasmic self. And she let me know it. So, I did what any man whose ego was a little bruised, I left. I walked around. I drank...and drank...and drank some more. We cooled off, we talked it out. We hugged it out. We fucked it out. And we were complete again.

“You look so sexy,” she said in a low voice. I felt exposed, trembling, vulnerable. It was a odd change. While not a complete sub (she is way too feisty and demanding to give up totally), she isn't a full-on dom. Sure, she has had her ways with girls in the past...but she likes her men to be, well men. Bold, in charge, collosi striding the earth. And while she is into ass play for herself, shied away from doing so for her men. But there she was, cool and calm, beckoning me to turn around. Gently caressing me admiring the calmness radiating from me. How her hands formed around my pert ass. And how I shuddered when her tongue probed me. How I cried out in pleasure with each lap. Screaming into the pillow the same unintelligible songs she sang when I was on top of her. Understanding how it felt when she looked me dead in the eye and the calm when she came. I was hers and she was mine. I gave of my self to her tongue, the thud of her hands with each spank, the fingers entering my bud. I gave in to the pleasure, wanting more, willing it, holding myself open to take more, more, ohpleasegod more.

My voice low, begging please. More. please. I didn't care what it was, just more. Consumed by lust and greed, the submissive begging for total and complete release. It was a moment that was confusing and thrilling and sexy. Anyone would have walked in and before, I would have been embarrassed to be in such a place. Ass up and spread, moaning like a little bitch, begging for more. But, she made me feel comfortable, alright, sexy. She soothed me as she worked in the plug in my virginal ass. She pulled me up and kissed me sweetly. We became lost in each other; the roles switched. She, moaning with waves of pleasure; begging for me to cum inside her. I, fucking her without abandon; becoming the colossus she desired. In my submission, I gained control. In my weakness, I gained strength. We gave to each other, we shared with each other and we came together.

Filed under: Erotica, anal play, guest post, sex, swag 1 Comment

13Sep/092

Lessons Learned (1/2)

Btw, a big thank you to Champagne and Benzedrine for putting my last HNT on his sexiest posts list

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[via bendoverboyfriend]

Lesson #1: The Actor

For once, height difference does matter.

His long legs are draped loosely over your shoulders as you try and push into him, but you can't get enough leverage. If you could just actually raise yourself up a little... but then you'd be on your feet, and how uncomfortable would that be? Still, the impulse to get on your feet and fuck him with your whole body is almost instinctive.

(More than anything else, you wish you could feel; not just because it would make everything so much hotter, but because you want to be able to tell what the hell is going on down there.)

You're pushing forward but you don't feel like you're moving at all; and still he asks you to move "slower, slower."

Finally you feel the head pop in - a sudden release of pressure - and then:

"Wait. Hold still," he says -

"OK. Go."

"More lube."

"You can move faster now."

"More lube."

- and after you've managed to hit a brisk rhythm, you have to keep pulling out to lube yourself back up, and the same dance starts all over again.

Soon you learn to make up for the lack of nerve endings in your silicone prick by using your thumb & fingers: holding your cock in your hand, feeling the place where his entrance is with your thumb, and then guiding yourself forward.

(The smooth act of penetrating someone else - the gasps and swiftly shifting facial expressions - is almost addictive.)

After you're done, you look at the splotches of lube on your harness and make a mental note to look up how to properly take care of leather.

Filed under: Erotica, anal play, chick with a dick, journal, kinda sorta awk, sex, the Actor, x-posted 2 Comments

3Sep/092

Review: Tantus Severin Medium

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I love Tantus products. I wouldn't hesitate for one second before recommending one to anyone; no matter what orientation, size, gender, or whatever. I think anyone could find a Tantus toy they would love.

That said, I wouldn't recommend the Tantus Severin Medium, courtesy of PinkCherry.com sex toys, to just anyone. In fact, I think the Severin can probably only be enjoyed by a select few: anal size queens and anal-stretching aficionados.

The thing about the Severin is that it's fucking huge:

The usual suspects

Yeah, I picked this out because I wanted a large anal toy, but I underestimated just how large the Severin would be. At its widest point, it's thicker than the Echo dildo on the right.

Coupled with its size is the Severin's shape - it has three graduated bulbs. One would think that graduation would make inserting the toy easier, but the opposite is true.

I first tried the Severin on myself. I couldn't get it inside me. I'd get to the second bulb, and then come to an insurmountable halt. The bulbs did not help at all. There's not really much that's gradual about these bulbs. The first feels like absolutely nothing, the second is kinda average, and then the third is effing enormous. I tried training up to the Severin by wearing y other plugs regularly for a few hours at a time. I think I kept that up for a few weeks before giving up in exasperation. Perhaps if I had persevered...

I also tried the Severin on the Actor. Now, I've said time and time again that while I like anal play, I'm limited to smaller plugs and dildos. The Actor, on the other hand, has taken every single plug and dildo that I've ever thrown at him.

He could not take the Severin.

As I eased it into him, I noticed something else that annoyed me about the bulbs. Whereas with most plugs, you push gently to insert them, with the Severin you have to push forcefully just to hold it in place. After I got the second bulb inside him, he asked me to wait a bit and give him a breather. So I did. but I couldn't just keep my hand on the plug, I had to push hard against it to keep it from popping out.

And when we finally did get it in, he didn't like how it felt. It was uncomfortably large.

One thing I did like about the Severin was its base. Its size and shape is perfect. Why aren't all plugs made with a base like this?

So there you have it. Quality material, large enough to satisfy size-connoisseurs, but the bulbs just do not work.

Specs:
Length - 4 3/4"
Insertable length - 4 1/2"
Girth - 6" around at largest
Width - 2" at widest
Colors - Black & Red
Price @ PinkCherry.com: $29.99

2/5 hearts.

Filed under: anal play, anal toys, sex toy review, sex toys, the Actor 2 Comments

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Wilhelmina Wang. Queer, female college student with her mind lodged firmly in the gutter, seeking genderbenders, lessons in BDSM, a meaningful fuck, and a point in life.

Here's where her mind is spilled like the proverbial guts.

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